JONIZZLE

"You make peace with yourself when the individuality you were born with arrives where it belongs."
- Natsumei Soseki.


Cool.

I thought I just saw a picture of myself. But it was actually Ming.

iTunes fuuuuuun. From Karen/Summer from the OC/Big Head #2 (with Howard being Big Head #1).

How many songs: 2598

Sort by title:
First Song: Nelly - "#1"
Last Song: The Zutons - "Zuton Fever"

Sort by time:
Shortest song: John Mayer - "Blank". It is two seconds shorter than Sufjan Stevens - "One Last "Whoo-hoo!" For The Pullman"
Longest song: Dave Matthews Band Live in Central Park - "Two Step"

Sort by album:
First song: The Beatles - "Love Me Do"
Last song: The Anniversary - "Tu-Whitt To-Whoo"

Top 5 most played songs:
1) Snow Patrol - "Run"
2) Ben Jelen - "Come On"
3) The Profits - "Atlantic"
4) Augustana - "Stars and Boulevards"
5) Yann Tiersen - "Comtine D'un Autre Ete: L'apres Midi" from the Amelie Soundtrack

I dont know why Konstantine isnt on this.

First song that comes up on shuffle: Ari Hest - "Caught Up In Your Love"

Search the following and see how many songs come up:
Sex: 8
Love: 92
Hate: 5
Death: 31
You: 303

I watched A Very Long Engagement tonight. I liked it. I think I need to watch it again, because I don't think I caught everything (because it was in French with English subtitles) and I got confused on names. And Angie kept making me tell her what happened when she kept stepping out.

The movie reminded me how crappy World War I (or war in general) was. Trench warfare is stupid. French officers really were that bad. But then this reminded me of Brian and I talking about how crappy the Black Plague was in Europe. Roughyl 2/3's to 1/2 of the population dead? Thats horrible.

I mean, can you imagine nearly HALF of all the people you know dying? Most likely half your family and one or two of your best friends? That is really hard to imagine. It must have been a deeply deeply depressing era. As Trey Parker and Matt Stone noted in their interview in the lastest GQ, maybe it isnt so bad that George W. is our president, right? It could be a lot lot worse.

Lastly, in A Very Long Engagement, the aunt in the film always says, "Doggie fart, gladdens my heart."

This is today's Get Fuzzy:



teeheehee.

- I bowled a 186 tonight. I think I can break 200.
- I bought a $110 worth of food tonight at the grocery store. sick.
- Tyler broke up with me and is taking a class at noon when we would normally have an hour break together and go on man-lunch dates. Jerk.
- This is interesting. And I've never read/heard mainland Chinese complaints about Taiwanese independence. Maybe we should get her for ITASA. Not exactly for her political views, but because of her experience.
- I e-mailed a professor to see if I could set up an appointment to try to take a course with him, but he e-mailed me back and bluntly said, "My Mom died. I can't do any appointments this week. Come in next week." I was sort of...shocked by him sharing that with me. Maybe his openness is why people love him and why he is nationally renowned.
- I still can't believe I spent $110 on food. The least-nutritional thing I got was salami. Fresh fruit and vegetables are expensive yo.
- And yea, Legends and Murphy's can be quiet, but they usually aren't on weekends.

So where does accountability fall into all this?

and yea...U of I campus bars...not quiet at all.

Tonight was interesting. I think it might only get more interesting. I go from loving the world to being tired of it. Tired of people, tired of problems, tired of many things.

Tired.

It seems like a lot of things are happening for a reason, and I can see them go step-by-step. One conversation or thought that I have will help me immediatley in the next conversation or thought.

There is a lot to digest.

I could have gone out tonight with people. But I thought, why go out, I usually don't, and I usually don't have any more of an amazing time out there than I could in apartment, by myself or not. I though, maybe I don't go out because it doesn't make me a better person in anyway, whereas at home I can think, reflect, or have real conversations with people instead of drink, mingle, and try to talk over the sound system.

I'm glad I went with my conventional choice tonight.

I'm going to figure out what life is about. And when I say I want to invest in people, I want to master the art of conversing with them, so we can get to actually know each other. Not have surface friendships. And I'll always help you if your problem is real enough and heartfelt, or at least try to.

And you can't try to please everyone. But you can't ignore people either. Fine lines my friends, fine lines.

People man, people.

This is a mixed post. I feel I should be angry at something, someone, but I'm oddly calm, amused. Odd.

Speechless.

Text Twist is fun.



105,750. Must do better...

***I think that there is a fine line between many things in life. Fine lines between what is right and wrong, between love and hate, between justice and hypocrisy, and between smart and stupid. At one moment you could be on one side, and without knowing it, fall into the other. Does this mean that we should always try to recognize and reflect which side we are on? Probably.

It is another one of those nights, or early mornings I should say. I try to fall asleep but my body nor mind is tired. I've been trying to get myself to think about what I want to get out of this last semester of undergrad here at Illinois. In not so many words and quite cliche, I want to make some real memories. I want to invest in people here. Doing well in my last classes would be nice, but maybe not so important. Yea, people.

But who is worthy enough for my attention?!? teeheehee giggle giggle.

And yea, I'm assuming that college is not the most exciting and best years of your life. That would be sad. I'm sure the "real world" cannot compete with the freedom and youth that you have, but really, a wife and kids and building your own house, and trying to not make all the mistakes you think your parents made? That's gotta compete at least a little.


***Who's your daddy? Two recent instances have arisen where someone has yelled at a peer and said, "you're not my Dad!" in anger. One of those people who get yelled at was me.

No shit, we aren't your Dads. But sure, you may have a credible point that we are acting like them and should not. But then I ask, how does one learn faults and things to improve on? Trust me, I don't like telling people what to do, I would hope you would do it on your own. And I have definitly been on the other side, where I've been "the kid." And I'm glad that I had "dads." Maybe I'm just not good at it. Or maybe I took the critical suggestions to heart.

And on another note, I think I have said before that I get disappointed in people. That feeling of disappointment that I show towards my peers is not appreciated, which isn't a surprise. My character flaw is that I expect things out of people. I expect people to be responsible, to have integrity, to be righteous, to act like adults when you should. I expect to see goodness always coming out of folks. But I'm sure I don't always act like that. Did I just step over the fine line into hypocrisy?

Anyways, that doesnt seem like something that should be wrong, to believe in the inherent goodness of people that is, but it rubs people the wrong way sometimes. I'm not sure what to do. Have no expectations? Don't always expect always see people do the right thing? Those don't seem too appealing to me. But maybe that is how it goes. And of course, there is a fine line between "right" and "wrong", correct?

But yea, is it so bad to be disappointed in someone your own age?


***Song of the Moment:
The Fray - How to Save A Life

"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness "

Quite fitting, those lines. A state of bitterness. How unfortunate. But I've moved on somewhat, and when I ponder, it is with indifference. I shouldn't think about it and I was asked not to think about it. Along with that loss goes my care. So it goes. I'm tiptoeing a fine line between love and hate.

Possibly life's riskiest business, eh?


***On a lighter note, I saw a preview for this. And uh...I really want to see it.



I almost shed a tear during the preview. I hope I don't cry when I watch this, because that would be...a shame. BUT THEY ARE MANIPULATING MY EMOTIONS! (Or maybe I'll learn some good tricks on how to do that, haha Erin). I'm sad even thinking about the preview. Who remembers Homeward Bound? I hope this is better. IT'S GOING TO BE SO CHEESY!!! Haha, I wonder if they're the same "actors" from Snow Dogs. Har har har.

Here is another attempt at comical humor:

Eight Below-
Stars: Paul Walker
Co-stars: 8 furry husky snow dogs

Into the Blue-
Stars: Paul Walker
Co-stars: Jessica Alba, Jessica Alba's backside, and bikini's

And I would rather see Eight Below, as evident by my blogging about it, over Into the Blue, as evident by NOT renting it despite my unlimited Blockbuster Movie Pass. So...

Paul Walker + Husky Dogs in arctic cold covered in fur > Paul Walker + Jessica Alba in tropical warmth in...barely anything

and Paul Walker = Paul Walker, so...

Husky Dogs in arctic cold covered in fur > Jessica Alba in tropical warmth in...barely anything

Right. I think...

Nope, nope. I need to go to Blockbuster ASAP.

Lunch with Chester Frazier today (and Tyler and Katie).
Two long classes with 40 minutes in between (all with Laura Chu)
Glory Road with a lot of Asian people (it's ok).
Ran two miles at Wimpe (I'm tired...)
Allen Hall for dinner (j'adore Jessica!)

Christine posted a link about Taiwan and glow-in-the-dark pigs. What da hurk?

Crazy Taiwanese people. Who remembers that story about the whale that exploded in a Taiwanese city, where natives were also in awe of its large appendage?

My people are wacky.





By the way, it isn't a new thing to bash on movie critics and reviewers, as their opinions on the quality of films are never perfect with everyone else's opinions. But I think we can all use actual fact to disagree and discredit movie critics, especially the popular ones like Ebert & Roeper, etc. And this is not based on opinion because "they said this movie was good but it sucked" or vice versa, but based on believing that there cannot be THAT many "two thumbs up" movies produced every year.

I've rented probably thirty some movies in the past month. Many of them were "thumbs up". Some of those were much much better than others. Some just sucked.

So I'm not saying Ebert & Roeper are full of it, I'm saying that sticking "two thumbs up" on the cover of a DVD is full of it.

And when did Larry King become a respected movie critic?

Pride & Prejudice is a good movie. I'll need to watch it again because of its speedy and intelligent dialogue. And also because I kept laughing during the movie at something.

So...I went to see it with Tyler. And only Tyler. We both like movies if they are of some quality, as he told me to buy The Notebook once (but that's actually just "ok"). And we don't mind films that can be classified as "chick flicks" (we watched Center Stage a lot, and love it).

But I guess it's different when it's out in public. We thought it was funny enough for a chuckle when we were walking into the theatre, but then Tyler was hungry and thirsty and I too was thinking about getting a soda. So obviously, the economical idea is to get one of the specials so we can save money on over-priced theatre snacks. But of course, the two sodas and one popcorn package is called "The Couples Deal".

...
So I go up to the snack counter guy, and sheepishly say, "yea...haha...uh...can I get the...uh...two drink deal..."

And the worker starts to laugh, which yea, I don't blame him, it's funny. To not help matters, Tyler and I are the only two people in the lobby, so he obviously knows we're together, and when I am ordering, Tyler is down the counter buying his ticket and saying, "Yea, haha...one for Pride & Prejudice...please..."

And we all, us two and the workers included, share awkward chuckles. We leave as soon as we get our food and walk fast into the theatre, to escape people who might stare (they were). But of course, we walk into the sparsley-crowded theatre and its only six people...a couple over there, a couple up here, and yet another couple back there. And then me...and Tyler. We stick out like none other.

hah....

...


We kept accidently touching hands in the popcorn too throughout the film. And then we left as soon as we could when the movie ended and the lights came up.

har har har har.

I think this is all a little juvenile, and that we should be above it, but...it's still really funny.





...good thing we didn't go see Brokeback Mountain instead, eh?

Not to keep going with the whole "compare former campers to stars on The OC", but does anyone else sometimes look at Ryan Wang and see the way he acts and the way he expresses himself and the faces he makes and the overall skinny nature...and get reminded of Seth Cohen?

It's 6:46am. And I can't sleep.

today, while i was watching madagascar, a telemarketer called me. as he said "hello, may I speak with mr. lee?", i noticed that the voice had a very heavy south asian (indian/pakistani etc) accent. and the next thing he said?

"my name is john smith, you have won..."

john smith? right...

Brian and I went to dinner tonight with Tyler. We went to Rock's (for horseshoes), and Rich McBride and Marcus Arnold were there. Tyler and Chet (they're the two head managers) went to talk to them, and then Rich McBride shook my hand. Shrug. Haha.

So we sat down, and then Brian and I realized the entire team was coming. And yea, slowly the entire team came in. People in the restaurant stared, Brian and I laughed...since we were pretty much eating dinner with the team. I guess the managers usually sit at a "kids table", while fans go and get Dee Brown's autograph.

Anyways, we ate our horseshoes, yum, and then Dee came over to say bye. He gave everyone at the manager table "the rock" (fist pound) and then me and Brian too. Haha.

That was funny.

Does anyone know what you're supposed to do if you're an out-of-towner in Chicago and you're going through the tolls, and you don't have any change, or you've run out because you've already paid $3.00 in tolls, and there is no Manual gate? Only Automatic or I-pass?

Pardon my language, but fuck you Chicago tolls. You're one of the stupider things I've ever heard of. What am I supposed to do when you've already taken my change, I miss an exit and need to turn around, but to turn around I need to go through one toll to exit the highway, and another toll 10 seconds later to get back on the highway in the opposite direction?

Oh, you mail me and bill me for the tolls (which is fair and expected) but then you add $20 on top for each violation. Fuck you! How do you justify fining me $40 after leaving me no choice but to go through? If you expect me to have $10 in change everytime I come through Chicago, how about you send every car in the State of Illinois an I-Pass? And why do you wait 3 years after my first violation to tell me this? If you would have let me know that I get fined $20 each time when I first had to go through a toll (no change and no manual station), I probably would have learned and done something different the 4 following times over the next 3 years. Oh yea, its because you're probably run by bitches. You're lucky you're getting my $103.00.

You are pathetic and make me hate Chicago. Too bad, because I like my friends and the Cubs.




Oh and by the way, how about you spend 500 million on education, and not on Millenium Park?

Chicago fun. Lots of games. Speed scrabble. Cannibal scrabble. Signal.

Signal!