JONIZZLE

“8. The song that is you:
Dave Matthews Band – Best of What’s Around. A lot of my life philosophy revolves around this song.”


Someone asked me about what some of those philosophies were a few days after my post, and I explained my thoughts on it. But then I was inspired to go a little deeper and do a breakdown of on the song and why I love it. In my reflections, I realized that what this song calls for is a lot to take on, so I hope it is me.

That said, this seems to be a good time to say all this. A lot of people I know seem to be going through tough times in their lives, so hopefully this can help. So, here goes.

Dave Matthews Band
“The Best of What’s Around”

I’m the type of music person that tries to figure out all the lyrics in songs. And I like to find meaning in every song I hear and to understand “the message” the artist is trying to convey. And I have obviously taken a great liking to this song. All you Dave-haters out there can’t deny. The idealistic messages of this song are inspiring and would make this world a better place, while not sounding cliché or corny.

Hey my friend
It seems your eyes are troubled
Care to share your time with me
Would you say you're feeling low and so
A good idea would be to get it off your mind

One of the things that I believe to be near the heart of friendship is being able to share your troubles with each other in times of need. That’s what this first stanza means to me. A few years ago, I vividly remember talking to a friend one night. She was having a bad day after fighting with her dad. And there wasn’t much I could do, except for one thing. I simply asked her, “You need to vent?” And she did, and it made her feel better. It helps to offer an ear. I think it can be awkward for people to ask others to listen to their rants, but if you ask them to share their time with you, then it makes it easier for them to get things off their minds. And it really works. My friend, she thanked me, and I was thankful that I actively asked her to vent so I could help out.

See you and me
Have a better time than most can dream
Have it better than the best
So we can pull on through

So yea. We help each other out, human to human. But if we do get down, before you get too too angry, take a step back. Have a little perspective. Odds are, if you are reading this, you have a computer. And that computer is in a house. And that house is filled with food. We have a better time that most can dream of. There is poverty in Africa, tsunamis in South Asia, and a hurricane in the southern United States. We have it SO much better than SO many people. And we have love! Friends who care who are concerned for our well-being. How dare we stay depressed and spiteful right? I think this may also be part of why I want to go to Africa and do aid work (or I could do the same down at the local homeless shelter). But yea, just remember time (and love) heals.

Whatever tears at us
Whatever holds us down
And if nothing can be done
We'll make the best of what's around

Keeping in mind with what I said above, yes, things hurt, we all hurt even though we have a lot to be thankful for. And I want to remind you that it’s ok to be upset, and you would be weird if you didn’t get mad at some things. It is a natural emotion. But someday, be it a day, a week, or a month, we have to move on, because as much as life can suck, life goes on. And again, this is where your family and friends (or you for them) will come in and lend their ear to you. We have to pick ourselves up and make the best of what’s around. Part of a popular quote I want to mention here that I used to see in my younger days in chain mails is, “love like you've never been hurt.” To me it means to not stay jaded, don’t be afraid, and to give it all you’ve got every time. You’re selling yourself and those who care about you short if you don’t. And if you don’t succeed, we’ll be there for each other to pick ourselves back up.

Turns out not where but who you're with
That really matters

This may be my favorite line of the song and rings truest and most often to me. In my life, I have been fortunate enough to travel and be in many different places. But in that, I have realized that yea, it doesn’t matter where you are in the world, but who is with you when you are there. I remembered this quote from About A Boy. “No man can be an island.” And that is true. We all need people with and around us.

This leads me to thinking that you find your home in a person, not in a specific place. The house you grew up in is not “home” because of the roof and four walls that make the building, but it is your family that makes it home. For some of us, we feel more at home around our closest friends. TAF isn’t a home for us because we are at Manchester; TAF is a home for us because we are there with people intensely close to our hearts. Springfield was a home. I don’t know if it still is. And I know why I question that.

But yea. I want home.

And hurts not much when you're around, when you’re around

I always think about this right after I say goodbye to people I love. Nothing message-y here. It just expresses exactly how I feel after saying goodbye to loved ones in words, and great songs have a way of doing that, simply sharing in our joy or pain by expressing how we feel. That makes me love this song even more. But yea, it can physically hurt when we’re away from our favorite people, doesn’t it?

And if you hold on tight
To what you think is your thing
You may find you're missing all the rest

Good advice, and it is true for a lot of things. I struggle with this one though. As people, we like to stick with what we know, and what we already love (be it a job, skill, or even a member of the opposite sex). We think it is what’s meant for us, but there could be more. And maybe, maybe we are afraid that there could be something else, and that our “love” will be proven false because we might love it beyond what we know. Ah yes, to give up the things that we think are our things. It’s hard, but yea, there is more. More things we can excel at, more challenges we can conquer, more fish in the sea. Blah.

Well she ran up into the light surprised
Her arms are open
Her mind's eye is
Seeing things from a
Better side than most can dream
On a clearer road I feel
Oh you could say she's safe

Attagirl. She’s got the right perspective, the optimistic and “people are inherently good and loving” side. She’s safe, because she understands that we (and by “we” I mean us as individuals with our closest family/friends) will make the best and most of life together. Oh to be like that.

Life is short. Don’t waste it being pissed off all the time. And if you are staying pissed off, do something about it. Take action. Fight the good fight. But taking action might mean letting go…

Whatever tears at her
Whatever holds her down
And if nothing can be done
She'll make the best of what's around

No matter what, if in the end there isn’t a thing you can do, just brush it off and move on. In Batman Begins, the reoccurring quote is, “Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.” It sounds cheesy, and easy to poke fun at while speaking in a Michael Caine-esque British accent, but really, it’s a good line and it supports the message of the song. Pick yourself up. Don’t stay lying on the floor. Ain’t nothing gonna hold me down. Make the best of what’s around.

Turns out not where but what you think
That really matters, that really matters
That really matters, that really matters

You’ll notice now that “where you are” comes in third after “who you’re with” and “what you’re thinking.” Thinking? Yes, thinking. Your mentality and attitude. In many situations, how you go into them determines how good your experience will be. If you go in thinking something will be bad, odds are, it will be. But if you go in with an open mind and keep the positive outlook, you might find yourself loving it (ex: taking on a new role, doing some job, being a new camper). Sometimes, you just have to step out of your comfort zones.

And so, it doesn’t matter where this place is that you are going, but matters what is going on in your head as you walk into it. Sometimes I catch myself being negative as I’m about to do something I don’t want to do, but then I remember this, and I force myself to take a deep breath, suck it up, remember that a lot of people have it a lot worse than me, and then I am able to go do what I need to do.

See you and me
Have a better time than most can dream
Have it better than the best
So we can pull on through
Whatever tears at us
Whatever holds us down
And if nothing can be done
We'll make the best of what's around
Turns out not where but who you're with
That really matters, that really matters
And hurts not much when you're around
When you’re around

The band goes back into my favorite lines to get the message across. Quoting someone else, this song is, “a reflection of optimism in living life.” On a semi-related side note to all this, I’m usually the kind of person who looks at people as I walk by them on sidewalks or in hallways, and give a nod or a smile, a friendly acknowledgement. I think it is a nice thing to do. Smiling is contagious.

When you’re around

When she’s around. And finally…

Hey Love, hold on…

Love. The first time the song mentions the greatest of all things. From the Bible (1 Cor. 13) to Harry Potter 6 (ch. 23) to Moulin Rouge, love is strongly pointed out to be above all else. Hold on to it. Savor it. Celebrate it. Learn from it. Fight for it. Back down for it. But hold on to it, and hold on for the rollercoaster ride it can give us. And holding onto it might paradoxically mean that you have to let it go so you or it can meet again later (which is a rollercoaster)…or see if it really ever was love. But always, cherish it. And make sure it is truly from the heart, ok?

The whole last 73 seconds of the song repeats those four words over and over in harmony, and it is by far and away my most euphoric moment of musical listening, where I sing along with it and I sing so long and so hard that you get that straining feeling in your chest. Seventy-three seconds of a natural high that lifts my spirits every time.

73 seconds.

What a great song.

I believe my thoughts and feelings on this song run much deeper than I am able to say, but yea. I hope I can live up to what I think we should take from it.

But at the same time, maybe I will change. If I do, maybe it will be for the better, but I fear it could be for worse. So…pick me up if that happens. And I’ll pick you up. Because when we’re around, we’ll make the best of what’s around.