JONIZZLE

Late Night Thought: I'm Getting Old :(

ok so its um 3:11 and ive been trying to sleep for awhile but i took a long nap this afternoon...so yea, its taking me some time to go into dreamland. so when this happens i usually think about random stuff and my mind drifted off into senior year prom. i was like la la la that was like a few months ago. BUT NOT. it was over a year ago. FOUR MONTHS over a year ago. it seems not too long ago, literally i can remember lots and lots of little things about it. but its been a year and 4 months since prom and im not a college freshman anymore either. and then i got sad. and then i started thinking about taf and how i told kevan that a new generation of tafers need to know what Forever Young is and to have in in the slideshow next year. and then i realized that next year will be a half-decade since i first did slideshow. the word decade just does not sound right. i have been on staff for a half-decade. what the heck is up with that?!?!? man.

i once heard someone say that like after 18 or after college all your years are pretty much the same. i dont know if that makes sense or has anything to do with what im saying, so yea...in conclusion, im getting older and older and i dont know if i like it. i really feel like i have no connections back to high school days. like none. traci is still there but like there will be no visits to football games or home very often. ive let go....ohmyGod ive let go...and i dont think i even knew it. cuz i loooved high school.

and now i talk to tafers way more than the people i grew up with online except for a few. i feel kinda bad about it...but should i? well deback is with me here in the apt, i talk to brian all the time and adrienne as well, traci often and ktmac a few times during the week and shawgo all the time when im home...but like, there are so many that i dont see or talk to, or maybe, MAYBE talk to once a week. dang. ok im rambling. but im getting old. and i let go. somehow i finally just let go of high school life....

...and TAF is now there to fill the void? i dont know. that might be too cheesy or something since i also only see them all once or maybe twice if they go to itasa during the year...but is that really how much taf has changed who i am and my life? or is it just the natural way of growing up and moving on? i dunno guys and girls but this is some funky funk. if only i could discipline myself to think about these things during the day and not while im trying to sleep before class in 6.5 hours. tell me what you think.