JONIZZLE

I find it interesting the wide intellectual range of people I interacted with today. The guy in my graduate student class is really smart. And then well, yea, there are idiots.

Anyways, Illinois vs UNC was in hdtv tonight. That means Tyla was in hd! I don't know why I watch Illinois basketball more, to see the team, or to see Tyler sitting on the bench. Brian and I cant help but laugh when we see him just sitting there emotionless on the bench with his clipboard. We also cant help to laugh when we see him jump up and cheer or show any emotion. Ok, we just cant help but laugh every time he comes on.

AAAAANNNNND. I went to class today. And we had a midterm. I thought the midterm was on Thursday. Hah! Didn't I get owned eh?!?! Well at least I answered all the questions. Yea...

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I'm disheartened like a mofo. But at least I get to play some football this weekend. Anyways, in asking myself what I'm thankful for on this day, my state of reflectiveness goes astray from what I'm thankful for to what is annoying the (pardonnez mon francais) le shit out of me. I feel like throwing some f-bombs, but meh, I can hold off.

Anyways. People man. People. I say "I miss you" to a few people, usually after they say it to me. I usually don't actively "miss" people. I mean I think about you (by you I mean all of you) every so often if I havent talked to you in awhile, so I guess I "miss" you all at a certain level. And sometimes I have yearnings to see you out of joy and giddyness (like going to TAF or Springfield), which shows my "miss"-ing as a form of upcoming excitement. But now I think I might be beginning to get the idea of real "active" missing, with chest pain and weird stomach feelings and just this sense of emptiness. It's annoying and it pisses me off and I'm tired of it. Frick frack fruck. I need multiple hugs.

Gobble gobble.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I'm disheartened like a mofo. But at least I get to play some football this weekend. Anyways, in asking myself what I'm thankful for on this day, my state of reflectiveness goes astray from what I'm thankful for to what is annoying the (pardonnez mon francais) le shit out of me. I feel like throwing some f-bombs, but meh, I can hold off.

Anyways. People man. People. I say "I miss you" to a few people, usually after they say it to me. I usually don't actively "miss" people. I mean I think about you (by you I mean all of you) every so often if I havent talked to you in awhile, so I guess I "miss" you all at a certain level. And sometimes I have yearnings to see you out of joy and giddyness (like going to TAF or Sprinfield), which shows my "miss"-ing as a form of upcoming excitement. But now I think I might be beginning to get the idea of real active "missing", with chest pain and weird stomach feelings and just this sense of emptiness. It's annoying and it pisses me off and I'm tired of it. Frick frack fruck. I need multiple hugs.

so. HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!

Does anyone else get a popup with some sort of news video thing whenever you get to me blarg? Cuz I do.

I make amazing kwaysuhdilluhs by the way.

- Friday night fun with Jess, Angie, Ming, and Eric.
- Erin and Jack joining, and slumbering over for 2 nights.
- Alone tomorrow. Chicago Wednesday night. Turkey Bowl Thursday!
- Empty campus. Quiet campus. Bodes well for four days of homework. Must do homework...
- Bought $70 worth of Christmas decorations today. It's festive in here. $70 festive. Come see it! And Thanksmas on Sunday, December 4th for all you in tafCrush!
- Reggie Bush is a beast.
- Been eating like a king the past two days. When all your roomates leave, you're entitled to all their food that is going to expire during break. Spaghetti and salad and steak and chicken quesadillas and pepper jack patty melts and turkey and egg sandwiches and even more salad. Life is good.

But alone tomorrow till Wednesday.



A conversation yesterday:

Jon: La la la la la la la...
Erin: Jon, I think you'd make a good tenor.
Jon: Oh, thanks Erin. Christine has said I have a good voice I guess.
Erin: Yea, you'd make a good tenor...TEN OR ELEVEN MILES AWAY HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!.
Jon: ...

You know what? Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was really really good.

Thanksgiving Break starts. What will I do with my time? Study? Actually, yea, I kind of have to. But I will be in Chicago for turkey day and TPC Turkey Bowl. I'm excited.

My campers have good taste in humor.



hahaha.

Permalinks. Just for you William Chung.

Weekend in Stl for ITASA Leadership retreat at Wash U was fun. Mainly because I got to see my dearest daughter Alice. I miss her a lot. And of course, I randomly saw people. Jon Chen in the parking lot, Karen Wang in the dorms (neither of them attended the conference), and of course, basically the entire TPC church at a sushi place.

Oh those TPC parents.

In unrelated (or not) news, I am going to look into a workshop next year at TAF on gossiping. The theme is communication, and gossiping is more than often incorrect and negative communication. And sometimes, it can be so ridiculously stupid that I want to slap people in the face. Idiots. Shame on you all who took part in it.

But yay I got to see Alice and Ryan and Jeremy! Jeremy and Ryan wrestled Ming and Alex. It was amusing. Also, sometimes when I call Alice, she says "hello Father/Jon" with a lot of contempt and indifference in her voice. I find it highly amusing, and it makes me laugh.

Erin, I came up with a nickname for Lisa. And I said it 46 times in half an hour.

Oh and also, we made it back to Champaign in under 2.5 hours from Stl. Fu was going as fast as 100mph. It was intense.

The first 20 some fans in attendance get free tampons!
(Yes I plan on getting some tomorrow)

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The referees beat us. And that's all I have to say about that. But at least the other team was classy and good people (no sarcasm).

A full month.

And I still disagree with this plan of action. It is inherently flawed.

Time flies when you're having fun. Subsequently, it feels like time is crawling by.

Aonfusion! What fun!

Hmm interesting...the French teaching assistant application is out now. It is 13 pages long. And a good chunk of it is in French...haha. Ah this is getting real. We will see what I do.

Anyways. I woke up today with nothing to do. I don't have anything to study for this week, and not even anything to clean in the apartment. So I cleaned my car. But the day became slightly productive. I cooked dinner and learned a new song on the guitar, and went to a church service with Tyler, and went to downtown Champaign (much nicer than downtown Springfield) with friends. Twas nice.

Two flag football games tomorrow. Two victories? Let us hope.

Wuha out!

If life IS about the people we meet, the relationships we make, and the love that we share between each other, then what does it mean when I am thinking about going to France next year? I'll be an ocean away from every person I have met, all the relationships that I have been making, and those that I love more than anything. Sure, I won't TOTALLY fall off the face of the earth, but you gotta think that I'm probably not going to be in touch with most of you at all, since I would hope I would not be spending my time in Europe online.

I pondered this as I drove back to Springfield for the night to get my car fixed by one of my dad's friends. My (current) backup plan after college aside from France is to fix up my old house in Springfield with Brian and Steve, and then live there with them. It doesn't sound too bad. I'd be spending my time fixing up a house, which would undoubtedly be a good experience that would serve me well later in life. Lately, the house-fixing idea has been gaining strength, and my thoughts while driving home only strengthened them.

Anyways, after dropping my car off to get fixed, I had dinner with my sister and then we went to Barnes & Nobles. I gave JW a call since he's still in town before moving out to NYC in December. He stopped by along with a friend from Princeton who was visiting, and you know, you can tell JW and his friend Jon aren't meant for cities like Springfield. They were both wearing suit jackets, these young 22 year old men, with airs of intellectuality, going to do something in this world. I talked to JW for a bit before he had to go. He'll do good.

We picked up Ajit and headed out, and we eventually made our way to the downtown Springfield bars. And this is where the thoughts that had been in my mind started to develop more and more.

So yea, downtown Springfield. The 3 of us just decided to go from bar to bar, just to see if we'd see anyone we knew. And of course, we did.

- A guy I know from way back in kindergarten
- A good 5th grade friend
- A good 7th grade friend
- A random girl I once had a crush on
- And then more and more and more people from high school. And the majority of these people, I have seen before at the bars, and I've only been to the Springfield bars thrice before.

And so then I realized, I can't come back to Springfield to fix up my old house, because I'll just become one of them, spending weekend after weekend in these places, here in Springfield, seeing the same people over and over again. It might be fun...the first night, but it would get repetitive REAL fast. It would just be like high school, and I LOVE high school, but in your 20's, don't do that. In their defense though, maybe the people I saw are doing something with their lives, but realistically, all the people I saw are probably just hanging out in Springfield as life moves on past them. But is it their fault?

Jake asked how far you could really get in Springfield, how much you could really do, how much you could follow your "dreams". And yea, sadly, as much as Jake and I love Springfield (I'm positive we love it more than 98% of the people our age), we both have this feeling that we can't stay. And therein lies the confliction, because our hearts are torn in two different directions, to stay or leave.

So France is the answer, right? Maybe. France would be an amazing experience. But I'd lose out on eight months of friendships with people here, which is too bad. And maybe, maybe the only reason I'm thinking about going to France is because I'm running away from something (grad school, my mom, the future). But right now it is in 1st place by a wide margin after tonight. As much as I love the people I know in Springfield, I might "owe it to myself" to go off to another part of the world, to see what else is out there, to see what I can accomplish with this life that has been given to me. As much as it pains me to say, I'd be wasting away in Springfield.

There has to be so much more to life. And I want to find it.

It's good to see Jake and Ajit. Along with Brian and Nicho, we had a great summer three years ago. We knew it would be "the last time" we would all get to spend the summer together. One of those transitional summer. Looking back on pictures (this was before I had a digital camera folks. Yea, LONG time ago...), I remember Brian and I talked about it a lot back then, how things would change. You say it, but you never really realize it until it passes you by.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth kids.

Ajit, good luck with the new job in St. Louis. Wear your Cubs hat proudly down there.

I love Springfield. I always will. Maybe I'll come around again, but in the immediate future, I can't, or at least I think I shouldn't.



Making plans to change the world
While the world is changing us...
- Dave Matthews Band
"Stay or Leave"