JONIZZLE

I went to the mall today and got hit on by a group of trashy 15 year old girls.

I was looking into Hallmark to see if Adrienne was working, and I overheard, "Ooh look at him, I think hes Chinese or Mexican." I turned around to walk back because Adrienne was not working, and then I looked up and saw five faces smiling at me and whispers of, "oh say something to him!" I smiled and walked past quickly as our names were exchanged. ::insert awkward turtle here::

Mexican? What?

Ah White Oaks Mall in Springfield. How wonderful you are.

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My mom is funny. She told me a story about a South Asian mother and daughter who came to our ice cream shop. As my mom says, the daughter first complained about the size of the cup, and after my mom changed it, the daughter again complained again about the cup. And then the daughter complained about the spoon being too flimsy, and it turned into her asking for new ice cream.

So my mom takes the ice cream, and uses said flimsy spoon, and just stands there and starts eating the ice cream in front of the customer and doesn't pay attention to them. The mother and daughter customers get angry and say something about how rude my mom is. Mom's friend, another Taiwanese lady with a stand close by comes by, and they start speaking. The South Asian daughter then complains about my mom and her friend talking "in Chinese" as she says. But then my mom turns and stares and says in that cold motherly stare, "excuse me, it's Taiwanese."

At this point, the customers storm off next door to the Cookie Factory. My mom however, can still here them complaining. So she yells from behind the ice cream counter at them. And then the daughter maybe says something back. And so, my mom goes into the Cookie Factory and basically, challenges her to some sort of evil glare contest. I guess that scared the daughter, so in defeat she says, "Go back to your own country," which well, is kind of messed up since she herself is the daughter of immigrant parents most likely being South Asian and all. But whatever. The point is that my mom is an intimidating badass. It's great fun being her son.

In a seperate story, whenever kids get ice cream but don't end up having enough money, my mom says, "Ok, I'll give you this ice cream if you say 'Taiwan is number 1!'."

Yup.