yea. thinking about it more...Garden State. great film.
I kinda hit me. I've thought, and told with some people, that I don't feel like I have a home sometimes. Somewhere in the past three full years of college, my house in Springfield stopped becoming home. And I've bounced around apartments the past 3 years, although I do really like my new one. Maybe I like it because it might be my new "home"...?
Regardless, home is where the heart is. I guess the closest thing that makes that true is taf. Too bad it's only 1/52 of a year though. But it could be somewhere else. Within special people. Maybe. But I guess either way, I don't have a 100% solid home. I need a home.
Pardon my melodrama. I'm getting annoyed at it. I guess its just my mood lately.
A lot to do in the next few days.
Don't wake me, I plan on sleeping in.
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Garden State. Good movie. Quite good actually. maybe...refreshing even?
I think I was actually impressed by someones acting ability for the first time tonight. I don't recall sitting in a movie and thinking "dang, she can act." Good job Natalie Portman. It doesnt hurt that you have a legit natural beauty/gorgeousness about you. But yea, I am impressed.
Ranee busted out the JH robot sequence of the swing choir in public tonight in Chicago. She says it was awesome. Props for her.
The Postal Service - Such Great Heights (aka the 1st song in the slideshow)
The Postal Service - Sleeping In
Jars of Clay - Love Song for a Savior
Damien Rice - Cannonball
And these Kings of Conveniance guys seem pretty solid.
TASC Shaved Ice tomorrow, 3pm, in Allen. Come one, come all.
oh yea. Bryan Vince and Harmony too.
*edit*
So hah. I'm looking for pictures of bah tzang online. I go to google and search for "Bah tzang". Two of the first five results? Annie Chieu and Emily Huang's xanga/blog, with Annie being first overall. har har har. Again, I am impressed.
*edit 2*
ok so this is getting ridiculous. ten minutes later, I use Google Images to find a picture of bah-tzang. And what do i get? a picture from....Harmony's xanga.
...
school has started. oh what a joy.
classes can be good this semester though, if i let them be. one of them requires me to be part of a team in a class setting. i shall apply TAF skills here...i hope.
bah. school.
but it WAS a good night. yes, yes it was. but i will say no more.
lunch with erika on friday. booyah.
mood of the day: le poop
blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah, blah blah.
sooo...
my internet is ridiculously whack. it goes in and out. im going to call and yell at my service providers.
material possessions are really of no real value in this world. sure they might make you a little happy (i do heart my laptop and wireless internet) and make people think your a little cooler ("whoa, a laptop Jon!"), but in the end, theres something else we all want and need. and when you need it and want it but cant get it? well then, life is like a box of chocolates, a lot of little brown pieces that arent really chocolate, but poop...wait no no, crap, crap is a better word.
i still want my freaking camera back though. and yes, i am blessed with a lot. i just wish it was other things. silly human, always wanting more.
so ill try to end on a happier note. Z and Juliana, and maybe Howa, are coming to visit UIUC! yea!
aaannnddd...i want to sleep forever. yes. forever. I asked grace to punch me in the face. hard. she says shes going to do it tomorrow. im looking forward to it.
apologies if i depressed you with this.
and now i hibernate. and think nothing of all of this please.
So its the TAF post.
Well well. TAF 2004. In the twelve total years that I have attended TAF, I can honestly say that this was my personal best one. I don't know if I should call it "amazing" or use other choice words to describe it, even though it might have been. I think this year was my best because YOU all describe it as "amazing" and as "my best year". All of the hard work paid off. I feel a sense of accomplishment due to the campers' willingness to open up and let us impact them. Without the campers spirit (and energy), I would really be nothing. Thank YOU all, for everything you have done.
I'm not sure what else there is to say about this. I met a lot of new people, got closer to new people...but also...got farther from old people too. Too bad the week isnt longer so I can play with friends in other programs eh?
What took me so long to get to this was because my job I guess, isnt really done. But it isnt done for you either. From Juniors to Youth, we all learned about our ethics and our values.
How will YOU apply it to your real world now?
That's the most important thing. Sometimes in all of our euphoria over TAF and "taflove", we forget (I forget to) that what we are taught at TAF is something to use for the rest of our lives, in our REAL lives. Not only in our TAF lives.
And there are still some TAFers, and definitly the majority of people who don't go to TAF, that don't what it's all about because no one has shared it with them, it being...
Openness, acceptance, unconditional love
It's been my challenge to myself for the past two years to spread them everywhere. I hope you challenge yourself to it also. You might succeed, you might fail, you might forget, but it is important that you try. And if you DO succeed, I assure you the rewards are great.
Acceptance
I think a lot of us forget it. It's like the middle child of the three, but its just as important as the others. There is simliarity with yourself in the quiet kid in the corner, in the gothic kid walking around, the country kid sitting next to you. We're all human. We all have something beautiful.
I'd also like to take this time to thank everyone again. My staff, Junior staff, Youth Staff, the Officers, and the Campers. Every single freaking one of you. From the youngest Junior (Nathan?) to co-JH PD Christine to President Huang and other board members who started making the impacts that you and I still feel today, thank you.
And yes, I reiterate, the TAF week may be over, but we're all still here for you. Most of you know you can contact me any time if you want to talk. Same for any of the other JH counselors, and for the other program's staffs as well. We're all here for you.
The little quote seems to have caught on, "It not just a foundation, it's a family."
Just remember everyone at TAF is part of the family ok?
And once again,
“We should all strive to be who we are at TAF back home, in our "real world". Be as happy, open, loving and caring as you are at TAF. Strive to be the forever TAFer, and if you do all of this, you accomplish the goals of TAF. All you need to do is love, and you'll impact mankind in a unique and compassionate way. Break down your walls, eliminate the barriers, just open up and it will come.”
Peace up, God bless, take care, I'll see y'all soon.
tafLove
yea yea, the taf post is still coming. im still wrapping things up.
on a side note. Yes, Moulin Rouge is correct.
The greatest thing you'll ever know it just to love and be loved in return
BUT.
To love and NOT be loved in return...well thats just straight up drop kick you in the gut, tear out your heart and torture your mind SUCKY.
Yes. Hmm. That was kind of depressing. I hope you all have a good day!
i saw kelsey chappel today for the first time in...7 years? She moved to New Mexico after freshman year. of high school. we were once little buddies in the sandbox. Two decades later, it is the 21st century. she wrote her email address down for me on a napkin. har har.
in the words of mr dave matthews, "it hurt not much when you're around."
but you're not around. and it hurts. oh yes it does. i forgot what else i wanted to say. meh.
and dont fret. I'll post all about that taiwanese thing i went to last week soon enough. you know i love you all.
Harold and Kumar go to White Castle = goooooood.
hahahah. yea.
this is two years in a row ive seen a movie the night before TAF, and two years that John Cho, Eddie Kay Thomas, and Thomas Ian Nichols have been in that movie (American Wedding).
But yea, big ups for the asian guy and the indian guy. wooooooooooooooooooo!
TAF tomorrow. holla holla holla.
yes yes, thank you for all the birthday wishes. It is now three days after mine, but yea. It was interesting, the first three people who wished me a happy birthday (people i was hanging out with on monday night and jeanette dont count since it was before midnight).
I met them in the same order they wished me a happy birthday. and more importantly, the way they have impacted me so far in my first twenty-one years started with the first person, who probably influenced more of who I am today than even my parents, the second, who showed me how good a person can be, and the 3rd...well, its been good so far, and maybe more is to come, maybe not.
I've kind of lost touch with the first two. And I blame myself for that. Sure, people change. But you shouldnt forget where you come from.
I'm looking forward to seeing them again. After TAF, that is.
And I'll see all you TAFers, this weekend.
Peace up homeboys and homegirls.
one moment can change a lot
one choice and change everything
one vision can inspire
one voice can lead
one life
one love
and one...and another. together.
and thats perfect (?)
maybe youre gonna be the one that saves me.
maybe...you're my wonderwall?
you know what, four of the best words you could ever say to an angry friend is, "You need to vent?"
It can make a big difference.
much props to the Huang's for their hospitality, and big ups to the TPC. I really do adore that place.
And if I could come up with a great new cheer for JH, I could retire from TAF forever.
ok no not really. But making a new cheer would be nice.
attaboy Prince. Now that's what I'm talkin' bout
blogger is new looking, once again.
I went to dinner with my dad and sister. As usual, we went to a chinese buffet. And as usual, dinner conversation amuses me. kind of. I think communication problems run deep in my family, especially since my dad lost hearing in his right ear a few years ago. Compound that with my sister's very soft voice and...yea. It's a lot of "what did you say"'s and repeating the same thing over and over...and over. It can be a mind-numbing experience for me sometimes, but hey, its family right? But better communcations would be a great thing to have...
random:
- i bought a new Cubs hat for St. Louis tomorrow. uh huh.
- a fellow guy at the chinese buffet place stared talking to me about the Cubs. He had a Cubs hat on too :)
- Jars of Clay is good
- I got out of my car yesterday and I almost stepped on a dead baby bird. It was on my driveway, covered in ants. I wanted to vomit, but I instead made loud moan-ish screams and ran away. Later that night I ended up running over the bird and the ants, and at the thought of that, another loud moan-ish, eew-iness scream. The bird was completely gone by this morning.
- My dad and sister were HIGHLY amused at me saying "Wah gah lee gong!" at dinner tonight. He told me to start speaking loud Taiwanese to see if the owner would notice, thus signifying whether or not she was Taiwanese herself. Unlike all y'all kids in Taiwan, my dad thought my "Wah gah lee gong" and subsequent "heh heh ho ho"'s were pretty good. Which is why I guess it was funny...
- B-Roy told me Mike Montney got a job at Frair Tuck's, a liquor store. The amusing part of this story is that Mike used to buy alcohol there with a fake id, so all of the employees knew him as "Luke." I wonder what they thought when they realized his name wasnt Luke and his former ID didnt match his real one.
- My friend's dad might have robbed a couple of banks. Seriously. I won't go into further detail but...yea.
- My grandpa hid in the mountains during 228. And my mom is amsued at how much I look like her.
- Traci helped me choreograph swing choir. She is amazing. She choreographed six 8-counts and taught me in like...thirty minutes. I take like...a full day.
- My mom is looking at my Taiwan pictures. She's half shocked and amused by Jeremy and Jacks tongue's together picture. Yea, that was awkward. My mom seeing the picture that is, not two guys getting their tounges close together.
- AAND my mom just hit me, since Roger can speak Taiwanese and I can't, and he translate for my mom.
- TAF. is. coming.
"i am the only one to blame for this"
ouch. but a good ouch.
Anyways. Spiderman is pretty darn on target with its message.
"With great power comes great responsibility"
In whatever we do we probably influence someone, somewhere. And if you are a Counselor or Advisor or ILT or Coordinator or a Program Director at TAF, you will influence someone. You have the power. Therefore, you have the responsibility.
A lot of people talk about "hanky panky." We dont want shady things to happen? Then we don't do anything shady ourselves. We dont even joke of anything shady. We don't (or at least cut down) talk about crushes. I joked about it, I gossiped. But it'll stop for me at TAF. I let it become something bigger than it should be. "Who's your TAF crush??" is not a theme, on par with "Leadership", "Identity", "Communication", or "Ethics & Values". We want campers to stay awake and attentive so they can get something out of the week, the experience that is TAF? Then we do the same, WE SET THE EXAMPLE. I hope you're all ready for that, because that is your responsibility.
You're a role model. Maybe you didn't sign up for that, but you are. And I hope you realize that and do something about it. Don't be like Britney Spears (who you all know I love) and think you're not partly responsible for those younger than you.
And this still applies to campers. You may not be on staff, but you certainly still make an influence on others. You're the next leader, the next advisor, the next Program Director. Your actions can lead to the actions of another.
And yes, we do all make mistakes, and we should all be forgiven for them. Every year, everyone should be given a clean slate.
But please, don't let this get you down. If it does, maybe you should forget what I've said, because TAF is something to celebrate. Don't let me be one to take the joy away from you. I'll be in North Manchester, Indiana in 17 days with a big smile on my face, my heart filled with joy, and my mind wondering how I am so lucky to be here, with all of you.
I hope that's how you'll all feel too. Lucky.
man i had a really good post for you all to enjoy. it was kind of an in the moment thing. but i guess you'll all never know.
but anyways. i wish i would have been able to attend TAC ec. i'll try to go next year, as just a camper. yes! a camper! that'd be nice.
musicisgood.
you know, I wish i cried more. things usually dont move me to tears. they hit me in the gut, can give me chills, rip away something, but usually, no tears. I think we could all use a really good cry right? When oh when will that come. and what will cause it?
I'm scared to know.
love love love.
i believe its love, its hiding down, deep down inside us all.
Another thing i'm scared of is losing touch with friends. good friends. that doesnt hit me in the gut, but more so in the heart.
Wednesday: Springfield
Saturday: St. Louis
Sunday: Champaign/Springfield
Tuesday: Michigan
in 3 saturdays: North Manchester, Indiana. or home. Not Springfield, but home. maybe.
it is where the heart is. is it where my heart is? nah. its all over. in other people.
I think communication is the key to a lot of things. good communication. i think that may have something to do with my fantasies of not taking any classes but languages. I'd like to be sept-lingual.
out on the corner in the pouring rain.
see all the black all the white fade to gray.
i believe that love is the answer.
dream on, dream on.
and when she says she wants somebody else, i hope you know, she doesnt mean you.
you quenched my heart in love. (i bet thats a good feeling)
its hard to say what it is i see, and you wonder if i'll always be
did you know i miss you, did you know i miss you, i miss you, i miss you
turn turn we all become dizzy
up all upside down, to each other, we'll be facing our love
back beat the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out
in your arms, my salvation lies in your arms
and its all about you, yes its all about you
and as we wind on down the road, our shadows taller than our souls
a clear black night, a clear white moon
coffee black and egg white
get close, get tight
we'll walk above the water, we'll rise above the mist
do you really want to live forever? forever. and ever.
I want to wake up where you are
in the name of love
hold on hey love hold on hey love hold on on on hey love hey love.
and i'll stop. i'd be impressed if someone knew half those songs. if you did, maybe we should be best friends.
and i ramble on.
ess tee ell is coo-ell as always.
yay tpc :)
my ilter emily working at qdoba? priceless.
yahmmy free au jus and 10 cent cones at lions choice
delectable bbq tasting spaghetti sauce by mommy huang
mmm red lobster (hmm...lots of food being mentioned...)
and big ups for a video outside of red lobster.
come on over baby.
whatup!
im at angies house in stl. yea i know, youre all jealous.
i should call jon, jeremy, emily, ryan, jessica, julie and others to let them know im here.
but i must dance. DANCE!
come on over, come on over baby...
aww sad.
Mishelby84: aight. i'm gonna go walk around 101
that makes me miss Taiwan :(
It was in the 60's here in Champaign though. That was quite nice. I saw Spiderman 2 tonight. Tyler Steve and I all wore soccer jerseys to the theatre. the girls were amused. And I continue to believe that Tyler looks a lot like Tobey Maguire. But Tyler is MUCH cuter than Tobey. I mean, thats what I've been told.
...
ANYWAYS, I must dance for swing choir. And my desktop computer is acting amazingly slow. I think it might have a virus. tear.
I am going to end this post now.