Page one of the San Jose Mercury News. Word.

Focus on dark past

TAIWANESE FUND CONTROVERSIAL FILM ON SPYING ERA IN U.S.

By John Boudreau
Mercury NewsLINK

Will Tiao is pitching Silicon Valley a different kind of business plan -- one full of international espionage and even murder.

Sound like a Hollywood movie? Well, it is, but one based on real events that pitted the dictatorial Taiwanese government of the time against those suspected of leading the democratic movement in Taiwan and the United States.

Bay Area Taiwanese-Americans in recent months have invested and pledged millions of dollars to see the film made. In February, Tiao appealed to Silicon Valley's influential Taiwanese American Industrial and Technology Association for funding.

The project has stirred the political passions of Taiwanese-Americans, some of whom say they were spied upon by their government after moving to the United States decades ago when Taiwan was ruled by martial law.

Tiao's perspective on the little-known chapter in Taiwan's history has received significant coverage in the Taiwanese and Chinese press in the United States, made a big media splash in Taiwan and has created controversy as some accuse it of being made to sway Taiwan's 2008 presidential election in favor of the Democratic Progressive Party, or DPP, and its associated coalitions.

Not bad for a movie that has yet to have a single scene shot. Filming is scheduled to begin later this year.

U.S. involvement

The plot of the murder of a college professor is set during a painful chapter in Taiwanese history, a time when native Taiwanese and those leading the democratic movement felt persecuted by the Taipei government, a close U.S. ally because of its anti-communist stance.

``This is not an Asian-American identity movie,'' said Tiao, who has sought support from more than 10,000 Taiwanese, Taiwanese-Americans and Taiwanese-Canadians. ``This is aimed at mainstream America.''

For many Taiwanese-Americans, the project has struck a deep chord.

``We want people in America to know Taiwan's story,'' said Helen Lee, who teaches voice at the University of Nevada-Reno. Lee is one of a small army of investors backing the project. The minimum investment is $25,000.

Ho Chie Tsai, a 35-year-old Berkeley pediatrician, wanted to support a project that speaks to the Asian community. ``I've never seen this level of excitement in my community,'' he added.

Right now, the movie's estimated budget is in the $10 million to $12 million range, but that could change upward depending on fundraising successes or a partnership with another film production company. Kansas-born Tiao was an aide to former U.S. Sen. Nancy Kassebaum before becoming a fledgling actor and producer in Hollywood. The movie -- the working title is ``Formosa Betrayed'' (www. formosabetrayed.com) -- will attempt to distill Taiwan's complex politics.

Power shake-up

In 1949, Mao Tse-tung's communist forces conquered mainland China. The defeated Chiang Kai-shek and his Kuomintang, or Nationalist, party fled to Taiwan, where they ruled as a government-in-exile.

In 1996, the first direct presidential election was held. In 2000, the opposition DPP won the presidency. The party in large part draws support from native Taiwanese, whose ancestors arrived in Taiwan between 1600 and 1900. The DPP leans toward independence from China, whereas the Kuomintang, or KMT, has a more conciliatory posture.

China claims Taiwan is its territory and has threatened war should the island officially declare independence. The United States, which does not officially recognize Taiwan as an independent nation, has called for a peaceful resolution.

Taiwan's period of martial law spilled over to the United States as the Taiwanese government recruited students to spy on Taiwanese-American professors and others on college campuses. Tiao's script tells the story of a fictional character who is a composite of two real-life personalities.

One was Chen Wen-cheng, a Carnegie Mellon University professor and critic of Taiwan's government who died under suspicious circumstances during a visit to Taiwan in 1981. The other was Chinese-American journalist Henry Liu, killed in 1984 after writing an unflattering biography of Taiwan's strong-arm ruler, Chiang Ching-kuo, the son of Chiang Kai-shek. The killing occurred at Liu's Daly City home and was linked to a Taiwan intelligence agent, though the Taiwan government denied involvement.

The movie's story line, Tiao said, follows a detective who, while investigating the murder, begins to realize ``people are spying on each other.'' The cop eventually links the killing to Taiwan, even as U.S. government officials try to steer him away from Taipei.

``Many Taiwanese paid a high price for democracy,'' observed Taiwan scholar Shelley Rigger.

Tiao said his movie is not intended to be partisan. ``Basically, it has to do with oppression,'' explained the producer, who said his parents warned him when he was growing up in the Midwest to hang up the phone should any caller speak in Chinese. His father, an agricultural economics professor at Kansas State University who immigrated from Taiwan in 1968, was spied upon, Tiao said.

Still, the project is seen differently by others. ``It's political propaganda,'' said James Chung, executive director of a coalition of Taiwanese political parties in the Bay Area, including the KMT. ``DPP will use this film to attack the KMT.''

Film's message

For supporters, ``Formosa Betrayed'' is an opportunity to finally air their struggles.

``We never had a chance to speak out, we never had a chance to let people know what the real history of Taiwan was,'' Gina Mao said. The 49-year-old Hillsborough resident invested in the movie and organized a half-dozen meetings for other potential backers, including a dinner for 300.

Sui Hwu, 53, who has retired from her Sunnyvale land development and construction company, invested in the project because she was moved by Tiao's concern for Taiwan. ``I was so touched,'' she said, fighting back tears.

It will, though, take equal measures of financing and luck just to get the movie made, let alone get wide distribution. Independently produced movies, in particular, face difficult odds in Hollywood, observed Larry Tanz, chief executive of LivePlanet, the production company founded by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.

For example, he said, thousands of independent movies are submitted to the Sundance Film Festival every year. ``Dozens make it, a handful win and only a couple or a few will get wide theatrical distribution,'' said Tanz, producer on the Emmy-nominated series ``Project Greenlight'' and upcoming feature film ``Running the Sahara.''

Nonetheless, he added, relatively low-budget movies can light up the big screen.

``If it's a great screenplay and a great story,'' Tanz said, ``the sky is the limit.''

Musings from Taiwan (and after)

- This time around, I don't have any friends from the states visiting at the same time as me. And with plane tickets to Shanghai ultra-scarce with a long waiting list, it looks like I won't be able to see Justin & Erin. So a quiet week lays ahead, which means I can do other things. I'm going to try to go Sedaris on my travels (minus the gay banter).

- I saw the Barack Obama candidacy announcement here. Here in Taipei that is. I'm sure this is the first and only time Springfield, Illinois will ever make an appearance on Taiwanese television. I tried looking for familiar faces in the crowd, but saw none. Just a lot of white people who looked cold (go Springfield!). But whatever, props to to my hometown for making the headlines.

- There is an awkward commercial that shows people making some weird hand gestures and chanting, "WE WANT WANG! WE WANT WANG!" But then it's just a commercial for Chien Ming Wang and Big Macs.

- My dad is rocking out in a Members Only jacket. I think they're making a comeback, but I think his is from the original Members Only days, and he's been wearing it ever since.

- I went to Ximen Ding today. Got chatted up by a very friendly male sales attendant who kept playfully slapping my arm and got playfully hissy when I said I didn't need to buy anything (I bet Sedaris would have liked him), and I saw an Abercrombie clone called 'WHO.A.U: California Dream'. But its not really Californian! Its Korean!

- One of the things I've noticed this time around in Taiwan is that the winter is so much more pleasant than the summer. It feels like a cool breeze perpetually runs through the city, and you notice things that would otherwise be undiscovered in the summer. For instance, the heated toilet seat here at my grandma's. Imagine yourself bending down and how normally you clench and brace yourself for the cold contour of the plastic bowl, but instead you are greated by the inviting sense of a heated chair awaiting the release of your bowels. One of life's secret pleasures indeed.

- I'm probably too young to wonder about mortality right.

- I'm sitting down at a table. The table is located in the food court of a department store. This food court has establishments such as Au Bon Pain, Starbucks, and Haagen Dazs. It is also Valentine's Day. Vendors are hawking roses and little teddy bears to passerbys. The table I sit at is in Taiwan. Hello globalization.

- The girl in charge of cleaning all of the tables here in the food court looks sad. I find myself glancing back at her to see if she still looks sad, and she does. Or she might just be incredibly numb and bored. Maybe both. I wonder what her life is like outside of this gleamy, plasticy, shiny SOGO food court. I feel like the haves and the have nots differ greatly here in Taiwan.

- This reminds me of my grandma's housekeeper. Her name is Mini and she is only 22 years old. She's been working in Taiwan for two years, but her home is in Indonesia, where her boyfriend lives. Her days are spent helping my grandma cook and clean, and as I've noticed, if she isn't doing that, she's probably in bed resting for the next day of work on her small futon in the corner of my grandma's room. Now I'm sure she could do worse as my grandma is a caring and thoughtful person, and I think my ahma's age justifies the need for help, but I can't help but feel weird. The idea of a young girl leaving her family and friends behind to go work as a servant in a foreign country is pretty hard. But in reality, that's how a good majority of the world works outside of the United States.

I think its weirder though because Mini doesn't look any different that someone I would be friends with. She's basically the same age as me and her style of dress is pretty western. She has some trendy blue adidas shoes and jeans and all that. But her life seems so much different than mine. I wonder if she envies me. I wonder how long she will do this for.

Does my American education really afford me better opportunities that her? Mini is no doubt a very hard worker and a genuinly friendly person. She's picked up Mandarin pretty well, so I wonder...could she do what I do back in the States? I think she easily could. What makes her and I so inherently different that she ends up making juice for me in the morning, doing my laundry, and vacuuming around me, all while I lounge around with my laptop and talk to friends all day long.

- I came to a realization on my drives home from work. I noticed that the traffic goes from really bad to really horrible right about the same time the the freeway reaches the Asian populated regions. I mean, it is almost as true as can be. Whenever I get a chance to pass a slow car, the car that holds everyone else up behind them, which oftentimes is in the fast lane, which causes this massive congestion...it's usually either an Asian female or an old man. Someone needs to do an academic study on this so. It boggles my mind.

- I wanted to post pictures up with this post, but UIUC ended my netfiles subscription and I havent figured out another way to host my files yet. Sad. My internet connections to Illinois have officially ended.

- Lastly, I am too tired to fully elaborate my thoughts, but I went to dinner with Hochie in town last night and got to meet some new people. We were all Taiwanese, and we all had these criss-crossing connections (TAF, TACL) from way back that we didnt even know about that came full circle, and we worked in Hollywood or did something creative and had plans for the future or wanted to collaborate...and it was just cool. Us Taiwanese Americans...or just us PEOPLE for that matter, and ALL people, not just us in that room last night, we can be a pretty awesome and inspiring group of inter-connected individuals.

I'm in Taiwan right now. I had initially hoped to hop over to Shanghai for a few days to visit Justin and Erin, but alas there are no tickets. However, I made up for a lack of Justin by meeting Justine, a friend to Will Tiao and a former Formosa Foundation participant. It has been suggested to me to participate in the Formosa Foundation's two-week all-expenses paid program (read that again, "all-expenses" paid) before, but due to my baby called the JH program, I would always decline commiting two weeks in June to this.

But now I don't have a baby called the JH program, and most of you don't either! So I recommend y'all apply for this. And remember, it's all expenses paid. That means they fly you to LA. That means you could get a free trip to hang out with me. And I am pretty valuable. And it's for a good cause and you'll learn a lot. It's win win win. AND the Formosa Foundation is not just looking for Taiwanese PoliSci majors to do this, but people of all backgrounds. And if you're from the midwest, you're pretty much a shoe-in for this all-expenses paid trip. So B-Roy, Jamie, Marg, Cho, Brittney, Stephanie and uh...any other non-Taiwanese subscribers to my xanga (I can't believe I can only think of five), you should do it. And get a free trip to LA and Washington D.C. With only a two-week commitment. All others are welcome of course too.

C'mon, what else are you going to do in June?

http://www.formosafoundation.org/ourwork/upcoming-events.php

I hear its cold back home, as well as the rest of the midwest and the northeast. I'd just like to mention that it was 86 degrees today in LA. But hey hey, there are side effects to the heat, like the two small brushfires I drove past on the 101 freeway. Or the multiple semi-truck accident that backed up traffic for eight miles (during non-rush hour). See, things in SoCal aren't always great.

But yea, 86 degree weather is pretty awesome in February. Unless it means our planet is dying of course.

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This morning, Roger asked me if I was going back to TAF this year and it reminded me of my dream last night. In it, I walked into some eating establishment, much like a Denny's or a Perkins (although I actually think it was the diner in THE OC), and saw all of the returning and new TAF PD's and the new ED sitting in booths planning and discussing TAF 2007.

I walked up to them and watched them interact. I saw their faces and expressions and all of the smiles that go along with planning a TAF program. And in the dream, I didn't say anything to them, and they didnt say anything to me. I don't think they even saw me. So I just watched for a moment, stopped, turned around, and slinked away to a dark table in the corner and sat down with other TAFers who aren't as involved anymore. And from there, I watched the new group of PD's work only a few tables over, yet it felt like they were far far away.

While that may sound morbid to some, it isn't that bad. When Roger triggered the memory of my dream, I laughed and I smiled. To be honest, it feels pretty weird to not be involved in TAF at all right now, to not know what meetings and conference calls are going on and to not be getting emails or to be writing any emails. My past four February's usually mark the beginning of "getting into-TAF mode". And right now...there is none of that. I went from getting to do everything, to hearing nothing.

But I think why I laughed and I smiled is because in my dream, I got to see the new people do what I got to enjoy for four wonderful years, and to see that some of my old co-pd's are still there. And I saw the happiness on all of their faces. So I know everything is in good hands along with full hearts for TAF (though there was never any doubt to this). I may be there in August, and I may not. But either way, it's neat to be so excited for something that you know you might not be able to go to. So good luck to the 07 PD's and ED, and especially to Alex and Tiffany for JH.

And since everyone likes to ask me, TAF will be held from August 5th - 12th at Manchester College in North Manchester, IN...but you might want to double check with a current PD.

Overheard last night on the LA area evening news preview, when it was FIFTY-FIVE DEGREES outside, "New lows have people in LA wondering, 'Are we headed for a deep freeze?!?!'".

Right...

There is this Cingular commercial some of you might have seen where two guys are dancing and singing to a song playing off a cell phone. Like many songs, they mishear the lyrics, and think it's saying "Lock the catbox" or "rock the cashbox", and that is the "hero" (industry speak for THE catchphrase or product visual) line. BUT THE NAME OF THE SONG IS ROCK THE CASBAH. I dont understand how they could misinterpret the chorus of the song when they have the damn name of the song on the cell phone being held in their hands. Idiots.

Also, im in this fantasy basketball league and everytime I hear about how such-and-such player is on a hot streak, I go try adding him to my team but I see that this one guy in the league has already taken him. but this isnt the first time, it has in fact happened many times, and its annoying! plus, he oftentimes drops the player i wanted, but then REPICKS him up again before I have a chance to even realize he had dropped him. it adds an irritating tease to the whole act, including the fact that the player sits on waivers for 2 days.

so then i happened to look at the league list of how many moves each manager has made. in spite of my ability to pick up the guys I actually would like, I have made the second most moves in the league with 18 on the NBA season. this other guy Alex has made 14 moves, and our other friend Ming has made 11. those are pretty standard amounts, considering there have only been 11 weeks in the season so far.

but that one guy, HES MADE FORTY-ONE MOVES THIS YEAR ALREADY! FORTY ONE! Stupid Steve Lin...

Anyways, the I caught a televised session of the Prime Minister's Questions in Britain on C-Span the other day, and it was thoroughly entertaining. Examples can be found on youtube. I don't think there is any possible way in the world that George W. would EVER be able to do that for thirty minutes every Wednesday.

What an enthralling post.

Whatup Justin.

Randoms:

- It was 85 degrees today. Yea.
- I had little emotional investment in the game, but it is pretty ridiculous that OSU had 51 days in between bowl games. The NCAA is stupid for scheduling that long of a break, then also claiming a playoff system would take too much time.
- I need to start growing my abs more. Abs abs abs. Grow your abs.
- Illinois football has a really good recruiting class coming in including the top DE and a top 3 WR. Four guys in the ESPN150 overall. Way to go Zook.
- I have yet to eat at a real authentic Mexican restaurant here in LA.
- Ok I really don't have much to say now, other than work related things, which was covered in the previous post that had been sitting waiting to be published for a few days. But if Justin asks me to update, goshdarnit I'm going to update!




- One last thing. For some brilliant reason, city planners in LA decided to have the 10, the 5, the 60, the 110, and the 101 all meet around downtown. That's FIVE major freeways in about a 2 mile span. That's effing insane.

As the new year begins, I have much to look forward to. Beginning this month, I will start working for Formosa Films with Will Tiao on a feature film which some of you may have heard about entitled Formosa Betrayed. For the first few months, I will be working as an assistant to Will, who is the Executive Producer of the project. And hopefully if I prove myself to be competent enough, I'll be even more involved when production (as in filming) begins. I am actually very excited for this job. I look at it as an immensely satisfying opportunity to do what I want to do and staying true to myself while being paid for it and hopefully keeping the parents happy.

While working on commercials in Hollywood has been a great experience, the final product of my work lacks the positive impact on humankind that I wish my work to have. A few weeks ago this began taking its toll and I forgot some of the reasons why I came out to LA in the first place. I was actually thinking about going back to Illinois in the springtime, just to hang out with friends for a month. But while I dearly miss the people there, it's not for me right now. Luckily, I remembered that one night and promptly wrote a post-it note on my desktop saying, "stay in california until formosa betrayed gets made." And as fortune would have it, I ran into Will at a Taiwanese event that weekend, and we spoke about the possibility of me helping the project, and here I am now.

I feel that my life experiences really make me qualified to help this film out. First and most obvious is my Taiwanese background and identity. My parents have always had very strong Taiwanese identities, and that has passed on to me through them and fostered through TAF. A heavy majority of my closest relationships are with TAFers or people met through TAFers. So needless to say, my life would be VERY different if I wasn't Taiwanese or had never gone to TAF, and even that I feel, is an understatement. My college major showed how films and media can impact our society and bring attention to issues that are commonly held as afterthoughts to the general public. This definitly lets me grasp the magnitude and power that the film could possess. My work as a Program Director has also provided me with an invaluable skill set of handling logistics, teamwork, problem solving, problem anticipation, managing, and more. And then the last three months I've spent in Hollywood have helped me learn the film industry, which adds a professional element. Yes, those are my powers, and I look forward to using them for good.

So wish me and everyone else good luck. I am very thankful and grateful for this opportunity, and I am also very thankful and grateful to everyone I have ever met and for every experience that I have ever had. It has brought me here thus far, and I have every intention of continuing to build upon that. Happy New Year.

I ran/walked for over 8 miles yesterday, 5.5 of it running. Surprisingly, my legs arent too sore.

I've posted before about Plato's quote, "Time is the moving image of eternity," before. I am never good at explaining this, but in a nutshell, the Universe/Time can be considered a series of events, which when viewed as singular instances, are "frozen in time," and therefore eternal (because they have no past, no future, just 'are'). And when one recognizes this as it happens, it's like seeing perfection, because in a roundabout way, things eternal can be considered perfect (just go with me here).

So a very few amount of times in life, I feel like I've witnessed this. Today laid claim to one of those times.

I was standing in line at a store, waiting to make an exchange. Staring into space, I could all of a sudden feel everything in the room in a slow motion. I saw the expression on each face, felt the ground beneath my feet, heard the intro to Frou Frou's Let Go play on the store speakers. It was there and gone in an instant. But I saw it. And it was beautiful.

And it's kind of funny you know? Because watching people holiday shop while you're standing in a long line with aching feet shouldn't be something to be thrilled about. But it was. And I'll always be happy when I can truly witness all that there is in a single moment in time.

After that happened, I thought about what it was that I did see. We all know the argument about the commercialization of Christmas, as well as my attempt to not be a victim of the consumer culture, but hey. Buying a gift for someone can be an attempt to show you care. That you've taken the time to think about them for a little bit. So seeing all of these people give into commercialism, but perhaps doing it because they love their friends and family, well, that might be ok. Frou Frou was a nice touch on the moment too. It felt like I was in Garden State.

Lastly, I was standing in line to exchange some jeans that I shouldn't have been able to because a) I had no receipt b) no tags were on the jeans c) the jeans had been washed once and the manager could tell, BUT I was very very nice about it. I completely understood the manager not allowing me to exchange it and I told her that. As I was leaving, she walked to the front of the store and called me out and said she would do the exchange for me this one time, because I had been so nice. So kids, it pays to be nice and understanding.

Afterall, were one big human nation. What else can/should/could we do than help each other out? A little love and compassion, empathy and beauty.

Happy Holidays.

Today is December 9th. I have been here since September 20th. Today, it rained for the first time since I have been here.

This past week was busy. I helped produce four commercials, two for Publix, a major supermarket in Georgia and Florida, and two for Bubblicious. One of the Publix one's featured the little girl from the DLP HDTV commercials, the one who says, "it's the mirrors". I think she's awesome. It's not often you see a commercial and think someone is talented. (I'm trying to make complimenting a 9-year old girl sound as un-sketch as possible).need some of those.

Tuesday, we filmed in Pacific Palisades. This was the view from the crew parking lot that I took with my cell phone.


Yup. I had to wait in the parking lot for about 10 minutes during one stretch of the day. And it was pretty awesome. I read later on that Baywatch was filmed at that stretch of the beach. Hasselhoff.

Andrew came home from Northwestern today for winter break. On the way to the airport, I took a picture of Mei Mei with, again, my cell phone:


She's cute. And also very emasculating when holding her in public. Aunt Lily bought a balloon saying "Welcome Home!" for Andrew. But apparently, Mei Mei has had emotionally scarring experiences with balloons in the past, and the moment she saw the balloon in Andrew's room, she ran away and started hiding from us (which she never does). We brought her back into the room to show her to not be scared of the balloon, but she ended up trying to run away. I scooped her up and brought her into my room, but then I noticed the fear in her eyes. She kept looking up at the ceiling to make sure no balloons had infiltrated the area. Im sure it was traumatic for her, but all of us humans had a good laugh.

My thoughts change a lot, on life and on the future and on what I am doing now. So I find it easier to not really say anything about it yet.

Creative outlets. I could use some of those.

Further evidence of Scrabbles signifigance in my life:

1) I came back to Vince's house, and I found my guitar tuner which I had lost last winter. Vince and Ming had looked for it for me back then, but no luck. And where did I find the guitar tuner eleven months later? In the Scrabble box.

2) I'm posting this while Vince and Alex (team #1) and Ming and Helena (team #2) try to complete their Speed Scrabbles after I (team #3) finished first.

Yeaaa....

I haven't made fun of Karen in awhile...

I have been back in Illinois since 5am central time at O'Hare International, and I am now sitting in my bedroom at home in Springfield.

And all I can think about is how freaking cold I am right now.

Alfonso Soriano! With Derek Lee and Aramis Ramirez for the next four years! Yea yea yea! Oh and to point out something, the Cubs handily defeated the Cardinals head to head last year, thus backing up my fact that the Cubs are the BEST TEAM IN THE WORLDDDD.

Go Cubbies!

I listend to USC visiting USC for a basketball game tonight. As in, the University of South Carolina vs. the University of Southern California. Both of the schools happen have a maroon/goldenrod logo. I've also held this belief for years that there is some jokester conspiracy between the nicknames of the schools. Southern Cal is popularly known as the Trojans, while Southern Carolina baseball caps were popular years ago because their mascot is the Gamecock, and on hats, it was simply "COCKS".

So we have two teams, with the same abbreviation, same jersey colors, and one team is called the Trojans and the other the Cocks. Right...

South Carolina won in overtime though, so in regards to the spread, the Trojans were unable to cover.
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Here's a photo of the sandwich I mentioned yesterday.


Know that I took a few bites out of the sandwich before remembering to photograph it. What you see is about 2/3rds of 1/2. Yes, picture the sandwich a little bit bigger, TIMES TWO, and that was what I was given for lunch. It was large.

Some days this job can be very easy. For instance, a day like today. My only actual "job" activities or assignments included: walking the hundred steps to pick up the mail, walking the two hundred steps to drop off Fedex, ordering and picking up lunch, organizing some books on a shelf, and keeping the office kitchen tidy.

The rest of the time was spent: playing literati, filling out the LA Times crossword, writing on multiple facebook walls somewhat randomly, making plans with Marg Yoo next week, trying to see how many times Karen could call me retarded/stupid in a day (3!), researching for my fantasy sports teams, and eating a humongous sandwich for lunch, in which I could only finish half. If Jon Lee can only eat half of a sandwich, it must be big. I'll post a picture of it when I get home if I remember to, before I eat it for dinner.

I would love to spend time complaining about the insurance company that I have been dealing with, but it is only a waste of time. If I could get someone on the phone, it would feel SOOOO good to yell at them. But alas I can only contact phone operators, which doesn't help.

I fly back to the Midwest Monday.

my aunt and uncle have a guava tree in the backyard. i also have been having amazingly huge and tough (physically) poops lately.

and conclusively:
"Guava leaves are used for medicinal purposes, as a remedy for diarrhea[citation needed], and for their supposed antimicrobial properties. The same anti-diarrheal substances which are useful in folk medicine may also cause constipation in the case of consumption of large amounts of guava fruits."

Cndncrippler1 signed on at 6:24:00 PM.
thendxcrd: this is oooouuuurrrr country
Cndncrippler1: no
Cndncrippler1: dont do that

Ahem. Following up my last post, I went to church today, and leading worship was Tim Hughes. And if I hadn't gone to church today and had my rental car, I would have been working on The Shins music video. So, yea, famous people everywhere. And I'm sharing this with you like its relatively important news. Yeup.

I wonder what it must be like to grow up in Los Angeles, California. With my Midwestern eyes, I feel like it would be somewhat surreal. Film, television, and music are arguably the most accessible global entities, being consumed across the United States and the world twenty four hours a day, 365 days a year. The vast majority of it starts and finishes here in Los Angeles. I could argue that this is the center of the world for many people who idolize movie stars and Gwen Stefani. So in your daily life, you're bound to cross paths with famous people who, in my Midwestern mind far removed from growing up in the sunny shores and bright lights of Socal, seem to be larger than life. It's like those sidewalk interviews you see on Jay Leno, where people know who Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez are, but couldn't recognize Allen Greenspan or Tony Blair, aka people who probably have had a MUCH greater impact nationally and internationally on people’s lives than Bennifer would have ever had.

As I sit down and watch TV, it's completely different to watch "The OC back" in Champaign, Illinois, than to watch it here. I now recognize where they're filming. I used to wonder why all the characters on the show wore sweaters and jackets with them living in the famed sunny Cali climate, but then I realized that yea, its cold at night. You start to notice little things like that. It makes it a little more real and less real at the same time. Instead of The OC being in "California", it’s just at a place I was walking around yesterday. "Arrested Development" takes place in Orange County too, and in one episode their oddball lawyer goes to the City of Industry to pick up a hooker (for comedies sake). And um...the City of Industry is oh, just north of me. I could ride my bike there and listen to “Konstantine” only once. Anyways, one of my first thoughts was, "I wonder if they just chose to say that the male prostitute was in the City of Industry because the rest of the nation wouldn't know better and it sounds like a city where there would be male prostitues." Because really, the 340 million other non-LA citizens of the United States would have no idea right? (Although there really could be a place like that in the CoI, I wouldn’t know.) And actually, my first thought after seeing "City of Industry" on the bottom of the screen was figuring what freeways he took to drive there from Newport (the 57 North to 60 West probably).

I was filming last weekend near the Santa Monica Pier, which is close to 8th & Ocean. I didn't even realize it till a few days after I was there. When you see it, it is not "8th & Ocean", it’s just...an apartment building. I was reminded of this as I was looking at apartments online. In a few years I could be living at say, 4th & Ocean. I bet Jeff would be too happy to hear that and ask me to go find the twin models for him. This also brought the song “Ocean Avenue” into mind by Yellowcard. This Californication (another song) is everywhere. I am proud to say that I haven't listed to Phantom Planet while driving to work on the 101 yet. Cuz you know, "driving down the one-oh-one" is not as glamorous as it seems in between the hours of 600-930am and 330-630pm. Traffic is never fun.

There is just so much of the entertainment industry here. I have yet to be really star struck, and I hope I don't because in reality they're just people, and you should figure that out quick when you're here because you shop at the same places and drink the same coffee they do. But the fact is people do get star struck and a little delusional (ex: all of the bad singers who go on American Idol and think they’re legitimately good).

In the wikipedia article for Hollywood, it says this:
"Every year, hundreds of runaway adolescents leave their homes across North America and flock to Hollywood hoping to become movie stars, as portrayed by the lyrics of the 1960s Burt Bacharach song "Do You Know the Way to San Jose?" whose lyrics include the words: "All the stars / That never were / Are parking cars / And pumping gas." Such individuals soon discover that they have extremely slim chances of competing against professionally trained actors. Many of them end up sinking into homelessness, which is a problem in Hollywood for adults as well as youth."

It is however, fun to tell to people who aren't here, because usually we all get a kick out of it. But why is it so hard to make it out here? Is it really THAT hard to get into the entertainment industry? Perhaps it's because my chosen path so far has been production...but schmoozing with famous people doesn't seem too far off down the road. It would just be part of my job. I give credit to my fortune of having a normal childhood and an education, family and friends who are supportive, and who don’t get swept up in all this shiny Hollywood shtick.

Ryan noted months ago that he liked the song "Boston" because unlike many songs you hear (and film you see) that "make love to California," "Boston" was the antithesis to that. But then again, the song is still largely about California. And when I listen to it I feel like, sure, some snow would be nice, but really...75 degrees in November with no humidity and watching the Sun set off the Pacific Ocean is pretty hard to beat. My point though is that you gain all these real ties to the mass media. Their world is your world.
(I bet “Entourage” can really screw with peoples heads. It is a fictional story set in a factual industry with factual people making cameos as themselves who work to create a fictional world for us in the real world to consume.)

You sit in the same traffic and breathe in the same air, watch the same sunset and walk on the same sand. You shop at the same places and eat at the same restaurants. "Hello Jim Edmonds, Bobby Lee, and Jamie Kennedy, welcome to Yardhouse!" Grace would have to say...minus their names, while I sit in the corner and eat my buffalo wings. Reality and surreality collide. (Wow, that’s not a real word, but it should be.)

So this is my best guess as to why we keep making love to California. For those of us outside of LA, were drawn to it by all this glitz and glamour and the hopes of becoming rich and famous. And for those that are here, the reality that you formed in your own mind about life is now blurred by film, television, and music once you arrive. Your world is seen and heard around the world through media. Your world is the center. And so you feel a little more important. A little more like a big shot. We give celebrities way too much time and credit than we should. My guess is that if we can claim a connection to someone famous, it makes us all feel a little more famous too. Fame is power and acceptance, and maybe that’s a deep human desire acting out in all of us.

So, LA isn't all that its cracked up to be. But sometimes, it is. Some people really just come out here for the weather or job opportunities. It's certainly good enough for both. Just don’t get too caught up in all the Californication.

(Yes, it is ironic that I tell people not to get too caught up in loving California while quoting from a song about California.)

Oh and for Howard and Karen (and the StL kids for fun), Jim Edmonds should be BHC #3. It's a freaking cinder block on his shoulders.

I broke 400 in Literati for (I think) the first time tonight.



In a nice coincidence, I had hot pot tonight for dinner, which is my favorite partly because of huo guo's association with using sah-tsah sauce. In said Literati game, I used the English spelling for sah-tsah, SATAY. What gloriousness this day has brought forth.

Well, today was not the best of days.

First, as we were wrapping up set location last Saturday for the music video I was helping Karen produce, an unfortunate accident involving (not) my car's trunk and the driveway gate of the house we filmed at occured. It was one of those things were there was nothing more I could have done to be cautious, but I still end up with a $1100 estimate for damage.

Fast forward to today, where I had the chance to witness a little VW Beetle drive into the side of my door, and watch glass shatter past me into the car. I'm okay, physically and mentally. It is quite a unique two-second process to go through however; see car, see driver of car looking other way, see driver step on gas and turn right into you in the middle of an intersection, and see glass shatter everywhere. It was actually pretty intense.(And hopefully the other driver's insurance covers everything, since it is very much her fault.)

And so, unlike Howard's two accidents in the span of 15 minutes, I had two accidents in the span of three days. Add Marci getting backed into on Saturday also, and Jules getting into a pretty bad accident last week...I'd say DRIVE SAFE to you all right now. Or don't drive at all, which is what I plan to do voluntarily (I don't want to risk any more on my current streak of bad driving luck) and involuntarily (since well, there is no window on my car).

So yes. This is currently my reality here in California, which makes this day not so great. Oddly, last night I had the premonition of getting into an accident with an attractive girl, as the girl who actually did hit me was a 5'10" white version of Jamie. But let me tell you, it's no fun meeting models when they just hit your car.

It was 94 degrees out today too.

Since no one watches it anymore, here's a play-by-play summation of tonight's The OC.

thendxcrd: the oc has gone downhill right.
Mahoney575: i didnt even dvr it tonight
thendxcrd: yeup.
thendxcrd: i didnt realize it was on.
Mahoney575: thats how little interest i have in it anymore
thendxcrd: im watching it for old times sake.
thendxcrd: its kinda like watching a car accident ya know? so bad, but you cant turn away.
Mahoney575: ha
thendxcrd: ohmyGod.
thendxcrd: lukes 2 little twin brothers are characters on the show now
thendxcrd: its so bad.
Mahoney575: thats awful
thendxcrd: one of the possibly developing storylines in this episode
thendxcrd: is that ryan and marissa's mom are having an affair
Mahoney575: gross
thendxcrd: or at least theyre alluding to that
thendxcrd: hahaha
Mahoney575: lets hope not
thendxcrd: yea
thendxcrd: everyones cheating on everyone
thendxcrd: at least they still have cool music
Mahoney575: thats one thing
thendxcrd: summer aged
thendxcrd: oh wait ok
thendxcrd: ryan and marissas mom arent having an affair
thendxcrd: thats good.
thendxcrd: theyre meeting to kill volchek.
thendxcrd: hahahaha
Mahoney575: makes much more sense
thendxcrd: yea
thendxcrd: ryans brooding as ever.
thendxcrd: he doesnt care about anything!
thendxcrd: he didnt go to marissas funeral!
Mahoney575: youre a nerd
thendxcrd: im giving you play by play on the show.
thendxcrd: i bet youre laughing.
Mahoney575: just a bit
Mahoney575: ha


Sigh. Season 1 was so great. I am contemplating buying it just to cherish a season of great writing and storytelling. Season 2 had it's moments (like the Spiderman re-enactment). Anyways.

I don't have anything else pertinent to say now.

Except you all should watch Arrested Development, which has now been cancelled, and you should all watch Friday Night Lights, so that it won't be cancelled.

- This morning I woke up to Mei Mei barking outside, for a long time, without my Aunt reprimanding her. I was confused. But when I woke up for real and came downstairs, my Aunt told me when she let Mei Mei out to the backyard, another dog was hiding in there and came out and tried to take a bite out of Mei Mei. It turned out that the other "dog" was actually a coyote. But Mei Mei is ok. Whew.

- One of the directors at Uber Content (Aaron Reull) filmed the opening sequence for Napoleon Dynamite. I thought that was pretty awesome. But then I was reading an article around the office, and it said Aaron Reull also played Kip Dynamite, aka, Napoleon's brother. I couldn't believe it, since I see him at the office all the time. But yes, it was him. I think him not having that mustache threw me off.

- I was calling camera truck companies today in search of one for our next commercial (a Public Service Announcement for the American Lung Assoc). I called one guy, and his response was, "Oh! Sorry, all of my trucks are out filming Die Hard 4!" Haha, that's a pretty unique response for me to hear. I didn't even know Die Hard 4 was being made. That felt like an Entourage moment.

- Marci is in LA too! Marcindaaaaa!!!!

Random niblets that have been floating around my mind to blog about (I started this earlier in the week):

- In my 27 days since arriving in Los Angeles, I have refeuled the Jetta five times, for a total of $168.47.

- It should come as no surpise then that on working days, I spend at the minimum three hours a day in the car. That means on a good day, about 12.5% of my day is spent in traffic.

- Because of this high percentage of car time, I have developed an appreciation for sports radio (710 ESPN here in SoCal). I think people who call into radio shows are oftentimes similar to those who post on message boards; they're delusional idiots.

- As mentioned previously, MadTV is filmed in a stage next to my office. On the opposite side of my office is the stage for the Suite Life of Zach and Cody, and That's So Raven. I haven't sighted any of them yet, but I do see a lot of other child actors/extra's walking around. Yesterday I saw a kid wearing a bright pink shirt that said, "Real Men Wear Pink". He walked past me, looked up, and smirked real big at me, all Hollywood like. Needless to say, I laughed out loud once he was past me.

- Is no one else's interest piqued by the phenomenon of John Mayer and the Killers having two songs with nearly the same exact chorus? Has this happened before in music, where three fairly unique words (fire, wire, higher) are used the exact same way?!?! I mean seriously, it kinda creeps me out.

- The Bears game Sunday night. I see or hear a few Bears fans talk about how "THAT WAS THE GREATEST BEARS GAME EVER OMIGAAAHHH!!! Well, I wouldnt be too proud of your "greatest game" being a come from behind victory against a perpetually crappy team with one playoff win since 1947 starting a rookie at quarterback. That just doesnt seem like it should be the pinnacle of a franchise. Do you really want your greatest game to be against the Arizona Cardinals? THE ARIZONA CARDINALS?!?! I don't think so. The vaunted Chicago team should never have been in that position. I've also been having humongous poops the size of peoples forearms. Its like giving birth analy. (Just trying to sneak that information into this post. And that giving birth analy description I just made up sounds HORRIBLE...but its true in my case.)

- I am pretty confident that I could make a very comfortable living in this industry being a producer of sorts. Is that cocky? A little too confident? A little too naive that I can climb this supposed ladder quickly? Doing a job seems like doing TAF, except it is a new job every one or two weeks and on a professional level. Instead of counselors you have camera crew, grip crew, lighting, etc, instead of ILT you have Production Assistants, and instead of campers you have actors and talent agencies.

- I spelled OUTSWIMS for a 143 point score last night in Literati. It was my highest word score ever. The T was open on the board, the O went on a 2x word score, the W (which is 4 points alone) on a 3x letter score, and the end S on a 3x word score. The 2x and 3x makes it a 6x word score, which is pretty sweet. So it came out to be (in OUTSWIMS ORDER) 1+1+1+1+12+0+1+1=18 (my I was a blank) * 6 = 108 + 35 for a Bingo Bonus = 143. I'm a nerd for writing all that out, but it was pretty awesome. I finished the game at 380 points.

- 99% of the people that I have met in the commercial film production world have been extremely nice and friendly. From my superiors who always say thank you to me, to the guys on set who are always open to giving advice and also saying thank you, to the guys at the film supply stores who offer you coffee or cookies when you're waiting for your order. It is very refreshing to feel that day in and day out in and around work.

- Moving on from that, one of my bosses asked me to bring them a coke the other day and to wash the ice for her. Yea. Wash the ice. So I did just that, and I washed the ice before I poured her coke into a glass. Haha...

- It's SOOOO COLD HERE! Like 51 degrees. CHILLY!

- We eat ridiculously well in this industry. There is food galore. Like mentioned earlier, coffee or snacks are offered while you wait to get equipment. There is a kitchen in my office stocked with all kinds of snacks and beverages. On film days, I have had grilled salmon, bbq ribs or chicken, etc etc, for a meal. They serve hot breakfast too. And everyday we order lunch (which is paid for by the company) and my meal usually costs around 10+ dollars from a fancy shmancy Hollywood cafe. I think thats why I don't mind work so much. You feed me, I stay happy, and therefore I work better for you.

- I need to run. This industry is making me gain weight.

- Continuing with food, we filmed our commercial last Thursday at a home in LA. The nanny took the kid of the house out for dinner, since we were filming in their kitched. My Production Manager Tracey said sure, no problem, we would pay for it and call it a location fee since it was logical. But then the nanny came back from dinner and handed Tracey a receipt for $143 dollars. Uh...WHAT?! You took an 8-year old kid out for a $143 dollar sushi dinner?!?! WHO DOES THAT ON SOMEONE ELSES DIME?! You are a bad bad person.

- I like to add pictures to spruce things up visually sometimes. So here is a photo of what happens to Mei Mei when she does something bad and needs to be punished.



We make her stand up for a few minutes and make her think about what she's done. As you can see, Father Lo is making sure she understands to never run off from the house and chase rabbits in the night and get herself all dirty. Bad Mei Mei.

Just to get this off my chest.

Chien Ming Wang.

Good pitcher. Taiwanese. Great. But you know what? I was a Cubs fan since I was six years old. Being a Cubs fan was part of my identity before anything else. That includes calling myself Taiwanese American. I have embraced my Cubs a full decade longer than I have embrace Taiwan. So, this is why despite being very proud of my Taiwanese heritage, I do not cheer for Chien Ming Wang.

Or maybe I am just tired of the Yankees. I'm starting to respect Jeter a lot, and I hope A-Rod gets traded to the Cubs. But it's still the Yankees. I'm tired of them. Whatever.

Go Cubs.

And you know what? Wang really is the pride of Taiwan right now. Eeeeverybody loves him. Even my mom wants to watch him pitch and cheer for him and the Yankees. You see how me, being a serious baseball fan with real loyalty to one team, finds that disturbing? All y'all xanga-ing about Wang, blah blah blah. Leave me alone.

And you know whats worse? Since he IS the pride of Taiwan, everyone in Taiwan is a Yankee fan. This just gives the Yankees more revenue! I mean, think about it. Taiwan has the 17th largest GDP in the World. THE SEVENTEENTH LARGEST ECONOMY IN THE WORLD FULLY SUPPORTS THIS ONE PITCHER AND HIS TEAM! That's horrible for the rest of baseball. Perhaps incredibly shrewd on the part of Brian Cashman, but oh man. That is just more money for the richest. If they marketed well enough in Taiwan, the Yankees could sign Zito, keep A-Rod on the bench as a $20 million pinch hitter, draft a standing army, and purchase the Dominican Republic (much cheaper at 69th in GDP) and then own every baseball player to come out of that island for the next twelve generations.

Damn Yankees.

"music acts as a total catalyst for pleasant introspection and quiet musings... not unlike night time driving on a deserted road lined with backlit trees, fond memories of love, childhood, or past epiphanies swelling, and the urge to either relish in the aloneness or to hold someone's hand.
-explosions in the sky"



Also, the pilot for Friday Night Lights, which, like the film, features Explosions in the Sky on the soundtrack, was intense. Y'all.

Friday's are great when you work. I am finished with my first week in the film production world, and despite little sleep and lots of driving, I enjoyed it. I will continue working with Uber Content throughout the next week as we film a commercial for Honeybaked Ham; just in time for the holidays!

I went to a dinner with the TAP, Taiwanese American Professionals, tonight near UCLA. Met some new T-peeps. One of them looked like Melody and another like Tinya. I'm really seeing resemblences of siblings aren't I? And then another girl looked like Christine from U of I. So that's an Asian girl looking just like a White girl. The TAP's president is Ben Ling, who went to TAF from 93-97. All in Youth, choreographed a swing choir, etc. He looks like Tim Huang.

After dinner, I drove back from Santa Monica to Rowland Heights in 34 minutes. That happened due to driving as high as 90mph (often) and many lane changes. I think I changed one lane to another at least, say, 42 times. And then I did about 12 double lane changes, and maybe even throw in 3 triple lane changes. I am a freakin rebel. And I think something is strange about LA drivers. While the traffic sucks, a lot of them just cruise at 55-60mph on the freeway, IN THE FAST (LEFT) LANE?! Why? What gives man.

Here are the choruses off a song from the new John Mayer album (Vultures) and a new song off The Killers album (Bling). Tell me if you notice anything (cuz I did while I sat in traffic in my car):

John Mayer:
"Down to the wire
I wanted water but
I'll walk through the fire
If this is what it takes
To take me even higher
Then I'll come through
Like I do"

The Killers:
"Higher and higher,
We're gonna take it,
Down to the wire,
We're gonna make it,
Out of the fire,
Higher and higher."

Meeeeh...maybe they're friends and write stuff together...?

It is now Saturday, and I can sleep in. HECKA YEA-YUH. This weekend I plan on:

-Mailing Roger stuff.
-Mailing Karen stuff.
-Playing FIFA 07.
-Watching the Friday Night Lights pilot.
-Organize my mp3 library.
-Continue to read The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime.
-Watch football on Sunday for the first time this season.
-Alter some jeans.
-Do nothing else.

Man this was an exciting post.

Work has been great so far. I'm an intern at Uber Content, which is mainly a commercial house, ie: they make commercials. The past two days have been busy, prepping everything for our shoot tomorrow for a Microsoft internet commercial. It feels a lot like prepping for TAF or ITASA, like the final frantic and busy few days before (although it isnt so much that for TAF, since you know, the staff is awesome and prepared weeks in advance!). But yea, I like that busy atmosphere where I can do lots of little jobs here and there to make something run successfully. My Production Manager Tracey is my boss, and shes cool. Learning a lot, and feeling pretty hopeful and comfortable after only two days. I even was able to get hired with them for their next project, and get pizzaid too! Yay for TAF giving me the skills to function in this professional world while not ever doing anything while in college. Hah!

Oh, that reminds me. At church on Sunday I was filling out a new person card, and it asked:

Are you a:
A) College Student
B) Single Adult
C) Married

And...I CANT CIRCLE COLLEGE ANYMORE. IM A SINGLE ADULT. WWWWWWWHAT??

But yea. Work is looking good. Hopefully it stays that way. The office is located in the Hollywood Center Studios, which was the former home of The Lucy Show and current home of shows like Mind of Mencia, Mad TV, and the SUITE LIFE OF ZACH AND CODY. If I meet that one asian girl on the show, I am going to taunt Justin Yang. Hah.

But yea so Mad TV. I saw some of their people milling about yesterday. That Asian guy (bobby lee?) from Wild n Out with Nick Cannon and he was also the nerdy guy at Princeton turned wild party boy in Harold and Kumar. And then the girl who played the housekeeper for Chandler and Monica in Friends, who got freaked out because Monica thought she was stealing her clothing and made Chandler check her out.

But my most important sighting of all happened while I was on the phone, walking back from running an errand, and I heard someone say, "JON?!". I looked up and it was...REGAN! Hah! He works for Mad TV! I forgot! So we work next door to each other. Let me say this with caps lock on to make sure you retain this nugget of information:

TAFERS ARE EVERYWHERE. YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE US (except if you move to Wyoming, Montana, or Idaho) BECAUSE WE JUST MAGICALLY WILL RUN INTO EACH OTHER WHEREVER WE GO WHEN WE DONT EXPECT IT.

Haha. Isnt that great. Yay TAFers!

I saw Mischa Barton and Ken Oak today.

Later today (a bit before 10am) I will arrive in Hollywood, CA and start my first stint with a film production company. It's not that big of a job, I'm only an intern, but it is also only till next Wednesday. My boss on this project says after this, I can get paid, which in all reality is quite quick. I don't think it is often that recent college grads with no experience in film come out to LA, hang out for a week, intern for four days, and then get paid to do it pretty soon after that. I'm pretty damn lucky either way. But anyways, today perhaps will be my first day where I begin a career in the film/film production world for perhaps...the rest of my life. That's very weird to think about, but so it goes.

And so it begins.

Let's see. Today I:

- Woke up to the neighboors dogs barking (which they always always do).
- Drove to a neighborhood up the hill called Vantage Point on a street called Vantage Point Lane. I had a hunch that it had a good view of the valley. I was right, and then I took some photos.
- Played Konstantine on the piano and FIFA on the playstation.
- Drafted an all-white fantasy NBA team. Haha this was funny.
- Started reading Life of Pi.
- Ate a good dinner.
- Watched Heroes on NBC. Perhaps this shall be a good show.
- Went back to Vantage Point to take pictures at night. See above.

So that's a good day all in all. I'd just like to do more. Here's to hoping for work!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15004160/page/2/

Click on the video link. In my Media Studies curriculum, we are always warned about Fox News for their non-journalistic practices and having a clear slant and agenda. Here, as many say, is FOX trying to sandbag Clinton about it being his fault for Bin Laden and the 9/11 attacks. Apparently that is what the Bush Administration is trying to do (revert blame to Clinton's Administration).

I was only an uninformed teenager during Clinton's time, yet I easily remember the name Bin Laden and the bombings that Clinton permitted onto Bin Laden's bases, ie: Clinton actually realized the threat Bin Laden was and tried to do something about it. So for FOX or Bush or people in the conservative core to revert blame onto Clinton, well that's just silly. Most likely, the blame is shared across multiple presidential administrations of the US. But like Clinton said, he's being attacked heavily when it seems he tried the hardest.

Ok this wasnt supposed to be a rant. Just watch the video to see a smug FOX reporter get owned by a former President of the United States. It's just funny in that context.

Anyways. Did you hear about the FOX Faith movie studio? Geared to make Christian films in the wake of the financial success of Passion of the Christ. I think it would be cooler if a) it wasnt FOX trying to make money and b) if FOX wasnt also the same company that makes shows like Nip/Tuck. Not that I dislike Nip/Tuck, it's actually quite good. But I hope you know what I mean.

Blah.

I went to church with Grace today. The event was funny to me, because the church was in Costa Mesa, which borders Newport, aka the home of Ryan and Seth and Karen/Summer etc on The OC.

I secretly hoped I would see the characters there, but, you know, that makes absolutley no sense at all (mainly because the characters aren't real people). But regardless, the church was very good. I usually lose focus during messages, but not this one. And seeing all these rich and good looking people of the real OC is funny in itself. The church is also predominantly white, much like my home church/youth group in Springfield. So this is what I know (while it's totally different for Grace). This has been my only white interaction so far in California as well. That makes me chuckle.

----------------------------------

A TAF reunion at Portillo's a few weeks ago.

Us Taiwanese folk. We're good-lookin' kids.

- Little Miss Sunshine...totally a great movie.
- I'm going to a church near Newport Beach tomorrow. It's like I'm in The OC! Except I guess it would The OC with something like Seventh Heaven. Ok that was pointless.
- People on imdb.com messageboards are idiots. Because the love to pick fights with each other on very irrelevant things. Oy.
- Little Miss Sunshine...yup, still can't get over it. Fantastic.
- I almost put up an away message tonight that said, "Howa must be happy now." because MSU was killing Notre Dame. And then I turned off the game near the start of the 4th quarter because I thought it was over. Let this be a lesson or reminder to all of you out there (especially many girls I know, and Brian too) to never say a game is over until the clock says 0:00 or the last out is made.
- I thought about Justin today. I was also peeing at the time.
- If you want to laugh and smile, go see Little Miss Sunshine.

And that is all.

I really enjoy reading Bill Simmon's articles on Page 2 at espn.com. He makes great commentary on the sports world, where I oftentimes find myself lauging out loud. You should read his rants about Art Shell and the Raiders in not one, but two, recent entries.

But I like this article not because of the humor, but because of his own reflection on society, with the hint of a hopeful vision to change the future for the better.

I want to watch The Wire now. And perhaps Bill Simmons is a personal hero too.

thendxcrd: did you watch it tonight
LittleBonnieFuFu: yea
LittleBonnieFuFu: of course
thendxcrd: hehe
thendxcrd: yea
thendxcrd: you and every other girl on my buddy list
LittleBonnieFuFu: haha

That Grey's Anatomy. You crazy. Including the fact that you also make every girl on my buddy list love love love Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. Not that it's a bad song. In fact its the first song I liked on their album. I guess this is just the legacy of people not wanting their music to be consumed by the popular mass because they dont really know. Or something. Shrug. Why I be so snobby, yo.

Anyways, as I was watching non-ESPN television for the first time in a LONG while, I noticed three commercials in a row.

1. Ad for some make-up so that women can have smoother skin and the appearance they always wanted.
2. Ad for soup that has only 100 calories, with a variety of women talking about how easy it is to diet now because of said soup.
3. Ad for a new tv show, with the preview having dialogue of one character talking to Calista Flockhart and saying, "You're fat".

Right. Three commercials in a row that reenforce a standard for women, right? You gotta have good skin. You gotta diet all the time. And if you end up the size of Calista Flockhart, guys will still call you fat (even if it's a joke, which it probably was in the show, but not evident in the context of the preview).

That's just great.

This however, is my favorite commercial right now:




It almost makes me want to shed a tear. And its multicultural too!

So advertisements. Funny enough, this is what filmmaker Karen Lin (who is a blessing) mentioned I could get involved with out here in LA. And I do remember having dreams of wanting to make them when I was younger. And I wrote to McDonalds once with a commercial idea...but they never got back to me :(. And perhaps more importantly, my final paper in college that helped me graduate was titled Asian Americans in Advertising and I studied the effects of Asian Americans in television commercials. So, I feel that commercials can be important as reflections on society and have an impact, which is what I want to do overall in life...kinda like that commercial.

Elements of full circle and coincidence. But according to V for Vendetta, there is no coincidence. Only God. Interesting indeed.

Other than that, California is great. The Aunt and Uncle feed me (too) well. The weather is almost too nice. Andrew's little sister Lo Mei Mei is too cute. I'll post a picture of her up later. She's small with white hair and likes chasing squirrels in the backyard. And she can't keep up with me when I go running.

The time difference however, is weird to get used to. Coming back from dinner with the sun still bright out and turning on ESPN to see the night game at Fenway already over is different. So far away from the East Coast. Cell phone minutes don't start till 11pm Central time too!

I was going to take a picture of my luggage, but the camera cords are packed up so I wouldn't be able to show you anyways. So since this cannot be a "pictures say a thousand words" moment, I'll just tell you the bags are packed.

But am I ready to go? Good question. People keep asking me if I am excited or nervous, and I don't have an answer for them. I haven't thought about this enough to have an answer.

Perhaps it is because whenever I think about these next few months in LA, if things go "well", as in find work that I enjoy, then most likely, this would be my very last night calling Springfield and the Midwest "home". That could be an overwhelming thought, but to prevent that from happening, I stop thinking about it. And therefore I do not have an answer to the excited/nervous question.

So I could stop thinking about it now, and then not have anymore to say until later. Or I can think, and you'll have more to read. My answer will be stated by whatever follows this paragraph.

I just got off the phone with another United ticketing agent to confirm my tickets. She asked me if I was going into the radio broadcasting business, because "with a voice like yours, you should."

This isn't the first time I have been told this either actually. So maybe I shall consider doing it, or doing voiceovers. Coincidently, www.jonlee.com is owned by a guy who does the commercial voiceovers for a wide array of products. Funny.

Off to the casino soon.
Northwestern helping Andrew move in Monday.
Wrigley for a Cubs-Dodgers game Tuesday.
Hopefully I can fit in a meal with the Eddie and the April and the others?

I'm going to the casino tomorrow for the first time!

...with my Mom.

1. ^Springfield, Illinois! The capital of fun!


2. I was booking my plane tickets to LA tonight. I had the sales agent forward my itinerary to my email address.

"Yea, it's j-o-n-i-z-z-l-e at gmail dot com"
"Oh okay so its..."
"Yea...it's pronounced...'jonizzle'..."

She couldn't stop laughing the rest of the time I was on the phone.


3. Courtesy of Errrn:

"Facing the future, we treasure the past,
for without history,
we have no roots.
And without roots,
we have no future. "

-Cheng-Hua TSANG



WORD.

I woke up after falling asleep for about an hour and a half. Annoying. But I woke up to see that Facebook has gotten even crazier and more stalker-friendly, and finding more ways for us users to spend time on it, as if 90% of college students didn't already spend enough time on it.

I want to rant a lot more on it, but I feel like I would be giving it more attention than it deserves. I googled "social anthropology and facebook" hoping to find some academic articles on the phenomenon of facebook and its social effects, pros and cons, etc. But no luck.

Anyways. I have not booked my LA ticket yet, but I shall soon. The more I think, the more I ponder, the more I feel the need to get out and get away. It's a little sad to resign yourself to that.

On a brighter note, I have hopes for this winter trip:
1. LA to Taiwan
2. Taiwan to Korea, visit Jamie and Marg
3. Korea to Shanghai, visit Justin and Erin.
4. Shanghai back to Korea (you can't fly from Taiwan directly to the Mainland anyways).
5. Korea to Taiwan, with the Jamie and the Marg in tow.

That would make me happy.

I remember seeing some quote somewhere sometime recently that I wish I would have written down. Maybe one of you knows it, and it goes something like,

"Our history is rooted in the past, and with out roots, we can't grow for the future."

Ok, it is defintly NOT that because that does not sound eloquent at all. But, that is the meaning I took from it.

In relation, I'm looking at my sister's TAF '91 yearbook. It's fun seeing all these people loving TAF a full fifteen years ago, even if I don't know many people unless they're in the Juniors or JH program or are older staff now like the Hoch, Bob, Dan, Jason, and Dave Chiou. I like getting a taste of the activities they did, the friendships they made, the different places they came from...I guess this is what a yearbook is for, right? A summation of the week's experiences as best we can in a collection of photographs and words on paper.

Thoughts:
- Roger. Hahahahahha. Those glasses are awesome.
- Juliana (who must be the youngest camper there) already looks like trouble.
- Patty Shay looks so unhappy in her group photo. Maybe that's why she didnt come back to TAF :(
- I like how this generation of TAF had earlier version of our current people. Looking through the name listings I see a Tiffany Sun, an Andrew Kuo, a Calvin Chen (from UIUC also), a "Brian Leu," and a Margaret Chen.
- They had a TAF Video in 1991. Thats a long time ago people. Probably before everyone had VCR's, just VC players. Which begs the question, if they could have a TAF video in 1991, why can't we have one in 2005 or 2006. Which brings me to a point Christine Shay brought up. JUST THROW SOME VIDEO FOOTAGE TOGETHER ON SOME DVDS! IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE FANCY SHMANCY! I JUST WANT TO SEE FOOTAGE AND HAVE A RECORD OF WHAT WE DID.
- "Friends at TAF are like allergies. They may go away for awhile, but you know they'll be with you for life." aaaawwww....
- Youth had 17 small groups. SEVENTEEN. Thats a lot of freaking small groups. And a lot of freaking staff.
- The yearbook had a special section for college addresses. Twenty-two had addresses listed in Urbana-Champaign. TWENTY-TWO. Thats a whole freaking lot of tafCrush alumni yo. All these 1991 TAFers living in Allen Hall and Babcock and Townsend and on Green St. and Chalmers, it's crazy. Why don't we have that now...

...Which brings up other thoughts. About our future. It's bright, yes. But could it be brighter...? I wonder...how can we all strengthen the Taiwanese-American community?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

- I saw a commercial today for Cheez-Its. I left five minutes later to Meijer just to get them.
- I also have a lot of hair on top of my head and on my face. Like Karen, it's out of control.
- Erin and Justin should be arriving in Shanghai soon. It's not like they were close anyways, and even if they were in the U.S. I would be moving farther away from them by going to LA, but regardless, I am sad that an ocean seperates us now.

thendxcrd: youre not bringing your green taiwan shirt right
jayelchew: hahahhh
jayelchew: no way
jayelchew: im not brinign any of my taiwan shirts
jayelchew: hahah on my resume -- it used to list taf
jayelchew: now it just says
jayelchew: summer conference
jayelchew: hahaha

Oh yes yes, about LA.

So I'm going to be heading out to LA in about 3 weeks, and I will be living with me aunt and uncle (Andrew's parents), and hopefully, I will be interning/PA-ing for Karen Lin (GO TAF!) on any projects she has, or for any other people that she knows "in the business." I guess I will be there indefinitly, and basically I am just going to get some experience and see if I like the world of film production.

While out there, I could dabble in writing my screenplay (I always say this and I hope I do) and at the least I will be a productive member of society, which you know, helps my self-confidence. Being a bum in Champaign or Springfield...not so good.

So yes! I get Andrew's stuff now that he will be at Northwestern (suckaaa!!!), including his room, his drums and guitars, and his car (muahahah!). Ok not really. But sort of really.

So yea! If you ever travel out to LA in the next few months, hopefully I will be there, and be working, but be able to see you, even though it takes two hours to drive 20 miles because of traffic (which I hate).

This will be the first time I'll not call "home" somewhere in the Midwest. It'll be weird, but getting away (Ari Hest - Aberdeen) is something I've wanted to try. Not that I don't love my people here. Just you know, new places new experiences all that. For those of you who pray, pray that I'll be productive and happy out in LA working for film peoples, and yea, all y'all come visit when it's cold here in Illinois. Puaha!

And if im not busy with work, Asia in the winter? WHOS GONNA BE IN TAIWANNNNN. Or visit Dave in Japan? Or Justin and Erin in Shanghai? AND JAMIE AND MARG IN KOREA!!!

I went to the mall today and got hit on by a group of trashy 15 year old girls.

I was looking into Hallmark to see if Adrienne was working, and I overheard, "Ooh look at him, I think hes Chinese or Mexican." I turned around to walk back because Adrienne was not working, and then I looked up and saw five faces smiling at me and whispers of, "oh say something to him!" I smiled and walked past quickly as our names were exchanged. ::insert awkward turtle here::

Mexican? What?

Ah White Oaks Mall in Springfield. How wonderful you are.

--------------------

My mom is funny. She told me a story about a South Asian mother and daughter who came to our ice cream shop. As my mom says, the daughter first complained about the size of the cup, and after my mom changed it, the daughter again complained again about the cup. And then the daughter complained about the spoon being too flimsy, and it turned into her asking for new ice cream.

So my mom takes the ice cream, and uses said flimsy spoon, and just stands there and starts eating the ice cream in front of the customer and doesn't pay attention to them. The mother and daughter customers get angry and say something about how rude my mom is. Mom's friend, another Taiwanese lady with a stand close by comes by, and they start speaking. The South Asian daughter then complains about my mom and her friend talking "in Chinese" as she says. But then my mom turns and stares and says in that cold motherly stare, "excuse me, it's Taiwanese."

At this point, the customers storm off next door to the Cookie Factory. My mom however, can still here them complaining. So she yells from behind the ice cream counter at them. And then the daughter maybe says something back. And so, my mom goes into the Cookie Factory and basically, challenges her to some sort of evil glare contest. I guess that scared the daughter, so in defeat she says, "Go back to your own country," which well, is kind of messed up since she herself is the daughter of immigrant parents most likely being South Asian and all. But whatever. The point is that my mom is an intimidating badass. It's great fun being her son.

In a seperate story, whenever kids get ice cream but don't end up having enough money, my mom says, "Ok, I'll give you this ice cream if you say 'Taiwan is number 1!'."

Yup.

From the Hoch:

Looking for your TAF Stories...
Hello TAF friends!

Summer is coming to an end for most of you... how sad... But before it does, and the memories of another exciting and inspiring TAF start to take a backseat to school activities, I'd like to ask a favor of you!

So, one of our TAF consultant projects is to collect YOUR STORIES & TESTIMONIALS of your TAF EXPERIENCE. Why? Well, for one, we just think it's important to keep an archive of your stories for history's sake. But secondly, we are hoping to use some of your quotes and stories to help us out when we put together our new TAF website. Additionally, we will also have new marketing media, like brochures and CD's, to advertise our incredible TAF programs more widely to the world. We believe that your stories say it all, and you are, of course, the reason we have TAF! Consider this your way of helping us grow TAF for future generations to come...

Keep in mind, I don't expect you to be a great writer, so ANYONE who has been to TAF can do this - even if you're in grade school, even if you're on staff, doesn't matter...

This is what I'm asking, if you're interested in contributing to our archive:

1) Think for a moment about why TAF is special to you, how the experiences were meaningful or impacted your life, or if you have a unique story you'd like to share...
2) Write either a QUOTE, PARAGRAPH or an ESSAY of well-thought out sentences that describe how you feel or any subject pertaining to your TAF experiences.
2a) Proofread. Caps. Punctuation.
3) At the bottom, write your NAME, AGE, most recent PROGRAM, and # OF YEARS at TAF.
4) If you don't want your name credited with the quote, say so. This may be used publicly. I will assume it is OK if you don't tell me otherwise.
5) Send it to me at hochie@hochie.net

Miss you all. Even the TAFers that are new or that I haven't quite gotten to know well yet. The one thing I've learned over the past 10-15 years is that we will get to know each other at some point, and maybe even cross paths in the distant future... I'm looking forward to that day...

And I'm looking forward to all the wonderful things you will be sharing about TAF. You are our TAF Ambassadors serving the world you live in.

Thanks!
Ho Chie

TAF2006
To all of those who attended TAF2006, thank you for a wonderful week. To me, TAF2006 another blur. A swirl of memories and moments that I hope were captured enough in my mind or on film to remember and reflect upon. A lot of other people dear to me have already shared feelings and thoughts about the week and many have said things better than I could say, or have remembered to mention things that I would only hope to recall. I feel all of my thoughts and memories are somewhat disjointed; chopped up and blended in with logistical issues, camper names, programming ideas, small group cheers, choir lyrics, things to do next year, and sketchy sketchy sa po po moves. I have no fluid and continual thoughts, just many disjointed areas of reflection. And I share.


Journals
I hope that everyone in JH really embraced the idea of keeping a journal. One of my personal goals for the week was to keep a journal of thoughts for myself at least once or twice throughout TAF, but that never accumulated into anything, and I regret that. I do however take serious joy in the fact that all of the campers, and hopefully the staff, kept their own logs of the week, thoughts they had, etc etc. My hope is that you kept them, either as a TAF souveneir to look back on the week and remember the good times and what you learned, or even moreso, that you keep using and writing in them, and when you run out of pages, you get another journal and keep on going. I find something very classically nostalgic about humans keeping journals and recording our thoughts and experiences. Hopefully you do to.

Speaking of "The Journals", I would love to hear feedback about what y'all wrote. I know its personal, and of course I don't expect people to tell me or Alex or their counselors what they wrote, but...I would love to hear it, haha. Just to get feedback and to hear what you guys in JH thought about topics we discuessed and workshops we ran. And to a deeper extent, what was going through your mind during the taflove workshop.


Body Image.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. During TAF, this issue's relevence became very apparent during the girls part of the Gender Dialogue. And then a week after TAF, I was a small group leader at the Life Creek Church's summer youth group retreat. The majority of girls in my small group also shared that they, just like my beloved young women in JH, felt pressures about body image that led to varying degrees of considering or actually having eating disorders.

Where do these pressures or thoughts to be extremely thin come from? Media? Society? Boys? The fear of being alone? Calls for attention? Being able to have control over something because you feel like you cannot control other areas of your life?

But then I learned that these are the questions that YOU should be asking yourself. Ask yourself, "Why? Why do I do these things to be skinnier than I naturally am?" That is the first step. The second step is to realize that you need to be true to yourself, like Karen and Cat said. Be true to yourself! Don't let anyone else or anything else, especially boys, dictate who you are. This leads me to my last thoughts on this topic.

I believe we are all in this together. Not just the girls, but the guys too. The reasons may be different, but as men, boys, guys, whichever you prefer, perhaps we give off this impression that we are overwhelmingly attracted to extremely skinny girls. I assume the vast majority of boys are actually turned off or worry about girls who are waif thin. So what can I, and other guys do? Mmm...show concern? Show that we notice how unhealthy it looks? To keep saying, "be true to yourself, be true to yourself!"?

Girls' don't let us boys dictate how you live and how your health is. Be true to yourself. That you as an individual, especially a young one, have so much promise and potential to look forward to, and therein lies all the beauty in the world. Do not risk it all that. You will not always be judged by your appearance. This will happen a lot sooner than you think.


"Love is the only rational act"
I mentioned this quote during our taflove session. And in the midst of it all I felt like it made a lot of sense in terms of the four rotating TAF themes. I jotted these down in my notebook to say. Ethics and Values - to know what is right and wrong, and to know what true love really is then. Communication - to tell it and share it with others. Identity - to show how you'll share it, if you will express it, what love is to you. Leadership - to be proactive, to share love when others won't, to show others how to do it."

"Open up your heart and you'll find love love love love loooooove," - jmraz. (yea plate dance!)

So yea. I feel that this (love) is all the purpose of TAF. The higher goal. Make profound impacts on society in unique and compassionate ways. ie: with love in your heart, tingling in your fingers and bones, and opening up to let it out. I'm not trying to be cheesy or cliche. If I had more time, I would try to figure out a much better way to say it, and a new way that would catch you eye, but...this satisfies me for now. Love is the only rational act. Just make sure you're letting the love be as real as you can.


The Past is in the Future
This came to mind during the week, or maybe it was after TAF. Either way I can't put my finger on it. But maybe it was also during the taflove session that I thought about this, where I was sharing how a full decade ago at TAF1996, I was playing with Amy, Michelle, Juliana, Howard, etc. How we were the JH campers, and how Alice and Alanna Lin were our pd's. How we have been friends and known each other for so long. I then said to my TAF2006 campers that I wished to see them at TAF in ten years at TAF2016. Hopefully then they will be the PD's and counselors for the new kids. My point is, Alice and Alanna made immense impacts on me in my time in JH. I hope I have done the same for my kids from 2001-2006 (and luckily, I believe I have). And with what I imparted to them, a lot of it comes from what Alanna and Alice imparted to me (I didn't know what 'unconditional love' meant until I met them). The first TAFers are still making impressions on the future TAFers. We are forever touched by those who came before us. I like that a lot. And I'm hopeful to see what the future holds.


Randoms
- On the lighter side of impacts, I remember Eric Chang at TAF1999 talking about after he graduated college, he just slept on Morris's couch and was a 'professional bum'. And so, I am now sleeping on my friends couch and being a professional bum here in Champaign for the weekend, and for possibly many more weekends throughout the year. Hopefully not...but hey, it's not bad. Thanks Eric for being an inspiration!

- I have one bag of small group letters that I forgot to deliver. I cannot even remember who gave them to me. I will go look in my luggage and find out who's it is, and perhaps deliver it to the Youthers who should have gotten them. My bad.

- I really liked the TAF Night acts this year. I love you JH! I also want to give props to Melody and Tinya. And more props to whoever can post the Youth Swing Choir online first.


Last but not least...my tafcrush?
Okay no, not really. I got your attention though, didn't I? I will however talk about a special young lady that I admire from afar. I call this a feeling of extreme gratitude and snaps for awesomeness to you, Christine Wang of the College Program. I love you. I really do. Thank you for Pteradactyl and the Awkward Turtle. And I don't know if you remember, but I will always recall the time when we were standing around with a group of people this year in the Great Room or in the cafeteria, and we made eye contact for a solid second or two, and didn't say anything but just stared back at each other, even though we both know who each other is. Fittingly, it was awkward.


Shout out to the LCC Retreat - Ahn Yan Hah Say Oohhhh!!!
The week after TAF, I got to spend another four sleepless nights as a small group leader for Youth Pastor Roger's church's summer youth group retreat around Milwaukee. It was great. Shout out to my small group of five lovely ladies (Go X-squared!!!) and everyone else that was there. It was a blessing, and I am glad to have grown from it. It was difficult at first because I have never led a small group in the Christian sense, but word yo, like my dear littlefufu says, "The difficulties of life are intended to make us better, not bitter."

Oh, and the church is a Korean. Am I making you jealous, my Taiwanese people?

Heart heart heart.


This is a link.

Holy nugget cakes you can read my blog from my facebook profile now. This is insane.

Anyways, this is interesting.

I don't know what to think. On one hand, its seems pretty confrontational to draw clear lines between races. On the other hand, it's just reality TV. And then even more, its the Asian-American tribe (tribe? hah!) rather than Asian tribe.

So...yea...

Off to North Manchester for the week. A little place called TAF. See you later.

Someone once said,

"My self esteem was at its lowest point in middle school. I didn’t think I was good academically, physically, or socially. I was convinced that I was just a bad person, and that there was no way to change it.

I carried this belief with me even when I went to TAF. When my small group counselor would praise me or spend time with me, I told myself that it was his job to like me, and that his actions weren’t sincere. I thought that he took pity on me and only said nice things because he was my counselor and he had to.

One night, I was randomly taken out of my bed after curfew by one of the other JH counselors. She wasn’t my small group counselor that year, but she had been my counselor the year before. At first, I thought I was in trouble because everyone had been asleep for a while now and I was the only one taken out of my suite. It was actually kind of creepy…

She ended up taking me to a late night small group meeting in her bedroom. It was strange because her entire small group was there and I was the only one that was in a different small group. I kept asking myself, “Why am I here? Why did she pick me? I’m not even in her group!” I didn’t feel worthy. I was shocked that she even remembered who I was, let alone wanting me to be included in her group.

After a while, I started to realize something. She had picked ME. She had thought of ME. Even though she was no longer my counselor, and technically didn’t have to have anything to do with me, she saw something special in me and cared enough to include her in her group. She didn’t have to include me, but she did. She really cared about me, which meant that I was worth caring for.

We ended up spending hours in that room having a really personal small group discussion. People were crying and saying things that they couldn’t say to anyone else. I was amazed that those campers, who had been in small group together all week, all accepted me into their discussion and reached out to me. Some of them had never talked to me before, and yet they completely trusted me with their deepest thoughts and feelings. They accepted me.

I’ll never forget that night because that was when I truly experienced TAF love. I learned about unconditional love and in turn, I learned to love myself. But most importantly, I’ll never forget that night because of the special connections that I made with that small group. I learned the power of acceptance and have tried to be accepting of others and their ideas ever since that night.

For this reason, I have chosen to serve at TAF to affirm campers so that they learn to see the greatness that lies within them and to encourage them to be tolerant of others and their ideas."


See you soon.

Someone once said,

"When I first came to TAF in August of 2001, I was a pessimistic, shy child. Just a few months before, my parents told me I should go to TAF to learn about my Taiwanese heritage. By these words, I hated the camp even before I got there, since I did not think that it was important to learn about Taiwan, when I lived in America. Besides, I always had the same overnight camp experience. People would already know each other, and exclude me out of everything. But something different happened when I stepped inside the doors of Oakwood Hall that first day. I actually felt welcome. When I got to my room, and found out that I actually had a letter already waiting for me inside my mailbox. It really made me feel good to know that someone was there to help me through the week.

That week, not only did I learn about my culture, I also learned how to be more outgoing and optimistic. At first, I thought that the only time we were really learning anything of importance was during speaker sessions, but I soon learned that everything I did in TAF tied together. Having a big sib to look up to, working together to do swing choir, doing different types of things in cultural workshops…they all helped me apply the lessons that I learned from the speaker sessions to real activities. Follow the good examples of elders, work together, appreciate your culture…all were things that I’d heard from my parents before, but they did not really make sense to me until I came to TAF.
It was a cram-packed week; so crammed that I forgot all about missing my parents. When they came on Friday to visit, all I could do was act cheery on the outside, but on the inside, I knew their visit meant that I would soon have to leave my beloved TAF behind.

My counselor that year was terrific. She was always happy, and always smiling. Late on the night that my parents came, she came into my room and asked me if I wanted a slice of pizza. I said no, I wasn’t hungry, and she left for what I thought would be the rest of the night. But instead, she came back a couple minutes later and asked me what was wrong, as if she could sense my feelings just by the way I was acting. I told her that I did not want to go home, and leave everyone at TAF. What she said next stayed with me throughout the years, and really helped shape up my life. Her words were such:
“All this week, you’ve been learning about where you came from. About how to avoid fights, look on the brighter side, and just be an all around better person. When you get back home, try to use this new knowledge and really apply it to your every day life. Remember, it’s what’s on the inside that really matters. It’s better to be ugly but nice, than pretty but scornful.”

After she said this, she noticed I was crying, and leaned over and hugged me. I was shocked. I had never in my life been given a hug before, not even by my parents. It was then that I learned yet another lesson. That even a simple gesture like a hug can leave you with a lasting impression for years to come. I loved my counselor unconditionally. She let me know that there would always be someone by my side, and she really cared about how I felt. Even though that was a long time ago, my love for her still lingers. It is unconditional.

I love being at TAF. You don’t feel like a little kid, or like you’re being treated like a kid you’re not ready to be. Everyone is accepted here. From the counselors to the campers to the activities, everything is just perfect. And I hope you think that your TAF experience has been perfect too."

In a week.

Thanks for the birthday wishes, text messages, calls, emails, etc! And...this.





facebook. the newest expression of love.

My room looks sad. All of the pictures are taken down and moved out. I have 56 picture frames by the way. That's a lot of money. I haven't purchased anything other than food and gas in awhile though. Yea! And I don't plan on it cuz you know, I have too much crap.

Augustana and The Fray on Friday. Hoorah.

Lots of packing and cleaning and planning for TAF. Im excurted! IMMA GET TO PLAN SMALL GROUPS AND ROOM ASSIGNMENTS WITH ALEX TONIGHT!!! (thats no sarcasm, it really is quite a thrill to do)

Aww schucks, youre making me blush!
"Happy Birthday from the Facebook team!"

teehee!

Too much. Almost. But what else can ya do? So I smile.

hahaha. fun with little people!

After arriving at O'Hare, one of the first things Roger told me was that there was a massive heat wave in Chicago. It was on the front page of the newspaper and people were encouraged to stay hydrated and watch the elderly.

Now, it was 93 degrees yesterday in Chicago, 100 with the heat index. Last week in Taiwan, it had been up to 115 degrees. And of course, it was just normal, no massive heat index and the Taiwanese were still wearing long sleeves. Furthermore, when it dipped down to 100 degrees, I too honored the cooler temperature by wearing jeans instead of shorts.

Funny, isn't it?

Taipei: 1
Chicago: 0

flying through a typhoon. oohh boy...

On a flight from Shanghai to Beijing last week:

my dad: Oh! Hey Yao!
Yao Ming: Hello.
my dad: (pats Yao on back)

end of story.

Today I went to lunch with some family. I got to meet my cousin's son (nephew then? or anything?) Darren. He's 2.5 years old and like most kids, loads of fun. He's bilingual! But still a kid, so random words sometimes, but he really is quite smart for his age.

My cousin, his dad, was asking him if he rememembered the time he was goofing around at the dinner table and rocked back and forth so hard that he flew forward and banged his forehead on the table. He did and he re-enacted the scene for the family. He rocked forward, banged his head on the table lightly, said "and then I cried", and started fake crying, and then said "I was stupid!". Oh man, he should go into acting if he can do it already at 2 years old.

One time, we asked him if he knew my name, and even though we had told him it was Jonathan earlier, he kept calling me Alex over and over again.

"You is Alex, me is zebra! YOU ALEX, ME ZEBRA!" "Alex?" "Alex! Lion! ROOOOOOAAARRR!" We then realized he was saying I am Alex the Lion from the movie Madagascar and he is the Eddie Murphy Zebra.

Ok enough talking about cute baby cousin.

I've decided I'm going to try to be uber-Taiwanese and wear my jeans outside before I leave, regardless of how hot it is. This is part of my trifecta of being like a "real" native to the TW, the criterium being:

1) Developing a liking for stinky tofu (check).
2) Having soup instead of some other drink to quench your thirst during a meal (check).
3) Wearing long clothing in the summer (still to do).

the trip so far:


Berkeley dinner.


People on the OCAC trip.


Hooters Taipei for the novelty of it all.


Fun with e-cards at a museum.


Mom's side except for an aunt and a few cousins.


Very pretty cousins! Second from left looks like Emily Huang. I deduced the one on the right is an example of what I would look like if I was a girl. Like how I just called myself pretty? She also looks like Nancy Chen. I think that's why I love Nancy so much.


Batting cages with Joyce.

And finally, I was taking this picture of a guy on the MRT who looked ridiculously metro, and I thought it was funny. The hat, the doorag, the khaki overalls with one pantleg rolled up and one shoulder undone. And of course, the huge purse to top it all off. He had the stereotypical gay lisp too though. It applies across races! But then, the girl to the left in the picture asked him for his number as I was taking the photo. You can see her getting her address book out.

Other highlights include hanging out with my dad's side, a Taiwan league baseball game, and a foot massage.

ill post some pictures up soon.